Fear Doesn't Have to Win. Here's How an MMA Fighter Uses It!

Kids Know How To Be Kids

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I believe in this philosophy of children know how to be kids. Like if you're a seven-year-old, you know how to be seven. If you're a 10-year-old, you know how to be 10. Indomitable spirit means unbreakable spirit. There is not another person on this planet that can tear you down. You decide where your limitations are. You make whatever you want of the world around you. You put out the energy and you create what you're expecting. Get out there and make mistakes and learn from that and grow. And that's kind of what I try to embody now with martial arts, with life. If I make a bad mistake in a fight, it's not the end

Welcome And Bear’s Origin Story

SPEAKER_02 0:28

of my life.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Welcome to the Yoga Nation, the spread of gratitude podcast on the One Direction platform. Hello friends, my name is Yo Gas Patel, and this podcast explores the themes of bullying, self-awareness, and the power of our inner spirit, including the silent battles we all face. Join me every week as I invite high-profile guests as we explore how adversity shapes us, how gratitude lifts us, and how we can all uncover the inner strength that we all have within ourselves. Join the conversation.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

I appreciate you listening in. My next guest is Bear Fiorda, a professional mixed martial art fighter. But his first fight didn't happen inside a cage. It started when he was five years old after losing his father. Raised by a widowed mother, Bear was a young kid carrying grief, anger, and pain. He didn't know what to do with. But then Bear found martial arts. What started out as an outlet became a lifeline. It gave him direction. It gave him discipline. And by just 14 years old, he became the youngest taekwondo instructor in the country. That is impressive. Today Bear still fights professionally, but his bigger fight is for the kids who remind him of himself. Through his nonprofit, free MMA, he's helping underprivileged kids portray anger for purpose, pain for discipline, and survival for something much more bigger. And I think we can all relate to that citizens and learn from that in today's episode. And with gratitude, welcome to the podcast bear.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Thank you so much for having me, man. I appreciate it. I love I love the concept of what you do. I love the people you've had on, so I'm just honored to be a guest as well now.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Thank you. Official alumni and an official guardian of gratitude. Yes, exactly. Now we made it in there. Yes. Well, fist pump, right? I'm gonna punch the computer right now. Get

The Hidden Pain Is Fear

SPEAKER_01 2:15

in there. Well, speaking of punches and fist pumps, I'd like to know what's one thing every MMA fighter pretends isn't painful, but absolutely is.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

I mean, there's so many aspects, whether it's the emotional or the physical side, I can go on for ages and eons complaining about how I hate dieting and how I'm starving and I'm thirsty and my body hurts and I'm in my mid-20s with a back that's definitely in its 60s somewhere. But I I think more importantly is that the mental effect of fighting is something that gets overlooked a lot. Now I get a lot of people who ask me the same questions of how do I not be afraid under pressure? How do I get rid of the nerves before my first fight if they're trying to compete as well? And I think something that we overlook is that an intelligent human response, an intelligent animal response to dangerous stimuli is fear. It keeps us smart, it keeps us on our feet, it keeps us alert of what could happen. And while some of us have a freeze reaction, unfortunately, I have a freeze reaction and had to spend a lot of time developing skills to get around that for fights. Some of us have a flight reaction to run away and get out of there. Some of us have a fight reaction to go head first into that problem and fear and punch it in the face. But at the end of the day, fear is not talked about because it's almost like a faux pas. You're not allowed to be afraid if you're competing in the gauge. You're not allowed to have fear and anxiety if you're doing this for a sport. It's your job. You got to man up and do your job. And to tell you the truth, no matter how great you are, there's always that little bit of fear going into it. Unless you're totally brain dead. If you're brain dead, you don't have fear that you need to step out because you're not going to take care of yourself in the fight. But for everyone else, even the best in the world have anxiety before they get into the cage and do what they have to do. You can't help that, but it does keep you smart in the fight. And that's something I think that gets overlooked a lot, especially in the beginning, because people have this misconception of I need to be strong and have no fear before I fight. When it's the opposite, I would encourage you to have a healthy amount of fear. Don't let it cripple you. You don't want that, but you do need to have it to be effective.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Once you have that though, I mean, I wouldn't say once you have it, but how do you over is overcoming fear the right word before you when the minute before you throw your first punch?

SPEAKER_02 4:34

It's um, how do I want to put this? Overcoming fear is definitely a part of it. I usually try and say work with your fear. You can't ever get rid of it. Overcoming it's just another way to word it. It's perfectly fine. For me, having a freeze response, I spent some time in therapy, I spent some time kind of doing some self-reflection. I spent a lot of time in training. And the whole idea was I need to find ways to reduce my brain's um response to stressful stimuli, not see everything as a freeze reaction, right? And so with fighting, I spent a lot of time training against hard competitors. I did a lot of mental work. I did a lot of, like I said earlier, I did different forms of therapy, including some hypnosis therapy over the years, all in an attempt to just reduce what my brain would view as a freeze-worthy situation. To where now, and it still hits me, don't get me wrong, I still have to work through it, but I'm much better at getting into the cage, getting into the ring, getting into whatever uh environment I am for my match, and not seeing it as uh, oh shit, I gotta protect myself, keep my hands up, and you know, not do anything and try not to get hurt and focus more on if I hit him first, if I make the first move, if I take out a leg, if I take him down, if I do X, Y, and Z, I am safer. So now that's my body's go-to reaction of I hit first, I do the first move, I do the most damage, and now I'm safe. Versus before of the more I back away and try and hide, the safer I'll be, which doesn't work in this

Work With Fear Under Pressure

SPEAKER_02 6:01

sport.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

How does that translate into uh a regular person in terms of perhaps the stresses they have to go through in their daily lives, or not daily, but stressful situations? How does what you've applied in martial arts apply that to, you know, perhaps a person who is anxious about something, who has some sort of mental health issue that perhaps they can't be the best version of themselves?

SPEAKER_02 6:28

I think if I've been understanding the question correctly, the biggest struggle when it comes to everyday life and dealing with the stress is people have a lot of emotional ties to whatever is stressing them out. I'm not saying you're able to completely, you know, pretend like nothing matters and you don't are we allowed to curse? Is that okay?

SPEAKER_01 6:43

No. Good.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

So I want to make sure before I do say anything. Thank you for being respectful. Yes. Um, I basically don't want to encourage people to not care about what's happening or their job or their life or whatever it might be. But when you have a big emotional attachment, you put a lot of emphasis on how important X, Y, and Z is in your life, it creates a lot more stress for you. The stress of failure matters so much more to you. The stress of making mistakes. And so the way I've gone about it in martial arts is yes, fighting is so important to me, but if I can make it not as big a deal in the moment, that fight not as huge deal, not a end-all be-all, I am much more relaxed for the fight. I am much less likely to freeze up and make it a problem. And so, whether this is a job interview that can change your life forever, or you're on thin ice and they might cut you tomorrow if you make one more mistake. My encouragement for those who are dealing with different struggles in life to how they that would cause them to have a panic reaction is to try to simplify it as much as possible. Not to look at it as the end all be all, but try to remember that it's just a job, it's just a date, it's just an outing, it's just a driver's test, it's just a whatever you might be the next big step for you. It's just the this put it on paper, write it out. It is not that big a deal. It is simple and you're gonna live past the next day. And that'll help you get through it and deal with the emotions you're struggling uh with at that time.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

Boy, I wish I'd would have learned that in puberty, asking a girl out on a date.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

So I I I say it, I say it's young men all the time. I have a I have a channel called Bear the Goods that really just focuses on how to help young men um develop into stronger characters because there's a lot of bad influences out there. We've talked about people like Andrew Tate and the um oh man, there's uh there's another another movie. He's a big streamer, I can't remember his name, unfortunately. But I just try and get people to understand that, hey, as long as you're not being uh as long as you're not being rude, you're not being disrespectful, and you're not making everything seem like it's this world-ending event, you're able to relax and you're actually going to cross much better in other people's eyes, and you have a better chance of getting that yes from the girl you're really interested in. But also don't be a weirdo and pressure and all this.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

There's so much that goes into that particular one, but yeah, and I always believe that it's the energy you project out to the world, whether you're five years old, 15, 25, doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Yeah, no, it really is. It matters what what you put out there, what you think is gonna happen. You kind of there's there's a there's a very common phrase, and if I'm quoting it right, it's whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. And I really think that people that's is that should just be a fact of life at this point, not even a famous quote, but something you live by every day. Because that is the truth of it. Life is what you make it every single day.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Yeah, that is so true. And you know, I guess all of this wisdom and and uh perspective, I guess, in life came from training in the martial arts.

A Single Mom’s Sacrifice

SPEAKER_01 9:42

How did your mom influence you on this path?

SPEAKER_02 9:45

God, she was um she was mom and dad, honestly. We you mentioned in the very be uh very beginning me uh me not having a father. He died when I was very, very young. I did get to know him for a little bit, but not enough to have any substantial impact. So my mother was basically both parents raising me the entire time. Um, she just she was always assertive, always like um, she was a good parent, good boundaries, but she was always open to whatever I wanted to do. And so that kind of influenced and helped me grow as a person because I got to try out so many different things. I got to be in martial arts, be go be a competitor. I got to go on different school trips, field trips, whatever. I got to go to camp in the mountains for a couple weeks there for a little bit, because she was always open to me growing and having different experiences as long as I like stayed within reasonable rules and didn't act a fool out and about. And so her influence for me was more like kind of what I tell people now. And that is you have your base set of rules and guidelines you want to follow. You have your base morals you want to keep close to you, but try different things, get out there, have failure, get out there and make mistakes and learn from that and grow. And that's kind of what I try to embody now with martial arts, with life. If I make a bad mistake in a fight, it's not the end of my life. I just learn from that how to do it better next time or what not to do next time and move on. And that's really what she instilled in me. And if it wasn't for her and her putting me in martial arts, I'd be a hundred percent totally, totally different person. I can't even begin to fathom what I would be doing. Um, certainly wouldn't be on social media or here with you today, which would be a huge regret if I was aware of it in that alternate life.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

Well, that leads me to my next question, Bear, and that is do you think children, or even better yet, adults ever truly understand what single parent sacrifice? Because what I'm hearing is a lot of sacrifice your mom did for you.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

Oh yeah. No, she um I I have friends growing up with in training, and we grew up in a rougher area, so when they could no longer afford it, their parents are deciding between electricity, gas, or martial arts. Well, I'm sorry, little Jimmy, we're gonna cut your martial arts program because the family needs these other things. My mother worked two jobs. She's um very she she like I don't want to say scraped, but she held a savings account very tightly. She was very very smart with her finances being an accountant. And so she made everything else that wasn't food, electricity, and martial arts a non-priority. And that means I missed out on some things that were fun as a kid and get the latest game that I wanted. But I know now as an adult that it was so important for me to have that martial arts, and that's what she made sure I had no matter what. Even when she was at a job, out of work in 2008 during the recession, she made sure martial arts was not um was not a problem. And in fact, at times she even paid like well in advance to the studio because they were struggling and they needed the money right then to keep their to keep their place.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Were you aware of the sacrifices of the time? Because again, I bring it in the context of you know uh a kid being pissy about not wanting or not doing the things that their parents asked them to do.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Yeah, no, I'm I I saw and recognized that her having to do these things was not normal, was definitely more than it would have been if we had another parent helping support, but I was still a child. I was still like, well, why can't I have this? Why can't I do that? Why, why, why am I not getting this whatever game toy? I don't care. Why can't I go see my friends right now? Well, you got martial arts, you need to go do that, that's the important thing. And so I definitely appreciate it now as an adult far more than I was a child. And I think perhaps, yeah, that if you grow up in a household that is very well structured, you have two parents, you have two sources of income, or you are one of those parents and you've never had to be a single parent, you never had a single parent in your life, it can be hard to kind of resonate with that struggle. You may be able to imagine it, but it's it's kind of like if you've never been impoverished, you can't imagine what it's like to have those struggles and have to make those tough decisions. It's you can understand, you can you can see it, but you can't feel it yourself. You didn't live it.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Is that the advice you would give young kids? Or or is the message a little bit different for them given their youth and perhaps lack of maturity at that at that time?

SPEAKER_02 14:11

I I I'm come up with this philosophy. I didn't come up with it, but I believe in this philosophy of children know how to be kids. Like if you're a seven-year-old, you know how to be seven. If you're a 10-year-old, you know how to be 10. You know how to act like a child if you are a child. But the adult's role in your life, those who look up to or who are in your life positively, their job is to teach you how to be an effective adult by the time you step into your 18 years old or whatever legal age for you it is in your country. So my advice would definitely be similar to the effect of, hey, your parents are going, your parents have their own struggles, your parents have their own things to do, but you're here, you're alive, and you're eating food every day. So understand that what they're doing is being done for you. It is being done to support you. You're in this program, you're under my tutelage if you're one of my students, because they saw the benefit of what martial arts can give and put you in it. So you may not appreciate it right now. You may be kind of, you know, act acting a fool right now in front of me and in front of them. But one day, very soon, you're gonna be old enough to grasp, oh, I needed this. I needed this, and I'm gonna be grateful for that. And I try to encourage them to be grateful now. Much easier when they're 11 years old and you tell them that versus when they're six, but you do the best you can.

Free MMA And Why It Matters

SPEAKER_01 15:25

And it looks like these are the values that you have in your nonprofit free MMA that you run. Could you describe what that is uh for the citizens of Yog Nation, who I like to call the listeners of the show?

SPEAKER_02 15:38

Absolutely. Uh, free MMA is a nonprofit martial arts studio. I started with my mother actually back in 2018 with the goal of teaching everyone and anyone martial arts, self-defense, confidence, leadership, and fight skills if they want to make it a career at no cost. Martial arts is incredibly expensive. I talked about how I have friends that could no longer afford it, uh, their parents could no longer afford it, so they had to drop out. And some of them ended up in gangs, a couple of them ended up on drugs, and they passed away. And so for me, if I can give people this opportunity to learn and benefit through martial arts, like I wish my friends at the time could have continued, they would have had different paths. You could have a different path right now. I've had people from all walks of life. This was my path. Exactly. See, you you're one of us, you know. And I I've I've had people from all walks of life come, people who could afford uh the building I was in and trained, people who couldn't afford the shoes that they were wearing and coming in to train. And so to me, it's just I don't care. I want you in there and I want you doing martial arts and benefiting from it physically, mentally, the whole line.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

Yeah, and I guess that speaks to the core values you also have in the studio. Could you share what that is or share what those are?

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Well, I have tenants. You uh you actually told me your your school's creed um before we started the podcast, and I thought it was beautiful. And while I don't have a creed for my students, I have a set of eight words that everyone lives by inside and outside the gym. And just to briefly briefly run through them, it's courtesy, humility, integrity, perseverance, self-control, indomitable spirit, respect, and patience. And it's eight words. I have definitions for them. They're not a part of Webster's dictionary, but you find it, you'll get very close to that. And if you just live with those eight words, you carry those uh ideals in your life every day, be it work, at home, whatever, it's it dramatically changes not just your outlook on life, but how people receive you, how people take in your existence around them. You are gonna be the most popular guy in school, you're gonna be the best player on your sports team, you are gonna be the favorite guy at the office if you walk around in embodying those words. And uh yeah, pretty much it just it doesn't make you um I want to put in there sometimes people hear words like self-control or uh patience, and they think that you're not like a go-getter, you're not willing to go after, and you're kind of a pacifist. And that's not what those words mean. It just means you pick and choose the right time to commit to action. And I think it's important for everyone to recognize when those times are.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

You mentioned the word the uh the tenant indomitable spirit, if I heard you correctly. How did you come up with that adjective? Because that's pretty powerful.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

Yeah, it I grew up with all these words. These are words I had as a when I was a student in my first Taekwondo school, and I imagine they had it long before I ever existed or was even a thought. And so I followed it and I love it so much because the way I iterated to my students is indomitable spirit means unbreakable spirit. There is not another person on this planet that can tear you down. You decide where your limitations are, unless you're doing something illegal and the cops got to get involved. Then they get to decide where your limits are. But if it's just you, your goal is to be an astronaut, don't let someone tell you you're not good enough, don't let anyone tell you you're never gonna be smart enough. Don't let anyone decide your limits. You decide. If you don't want to do it, cool, that's your call. But don't let someone else have that much control and power in your life. You decide where the goalposts are. And so just I think that's a great lesson for kids to have. I'm not fluffing them up. Even adults. Exactly. Yeah, adults. I I uh I don't try and fluff them up and say, oh, you're the you're the greatest superstar ever, champ. You can beat it, you can knock out anybody. But I just tell them, hey, the truth is you decide when the race is over, you decide when you're done to get to retire. You decide. Choice is yours, the power is yours. You have all the talent and options.

Eight Values That Shape Character

SPEAKER_01 19:27

And the second tenant that spoke to me was the word patience. And so for the phone, the for the folks that are listening watching this podcast, watching the podcast, what I'm holding up is when I was during my black belt training in my early 40s, our one of our books that we had to read was Zen in the martial arts right here.

unknown 19:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Um it's a great book, Bear, if you haven't read it. But it talks about uh Master Han back in the early 70s in Los Angeles. And I'd like to get your uh reaction and opinion on this quote that that he shares. To be patient is to have the capacity of calm endurance.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

That's really good. Yeah. Yeah. Um that's that's actually I love that very much because patience is exactly that's exactly what it is. It's you maintaining a uh I guess a calm presence and existence while you're awaiting for something to occur or awaiting for an opportunity or for yourself to be or even in the face of adversity. Yeah, I mean e even in the face of adversity, absolutely getting punched in the face. It it's funny you say that because in a fight, I if I want someone to do something, my first thing is I'm gonna hit them. I'm gonna hit them in a way that makes them want to react, and I can anticipate what that reaction is after doing it for so long. So it's a hundred percent what it is. If I crack someone in the face and they don't immediately throw back at me, that's like, wow, okay, this guy is maybe, maybe he has a better, maybe he has a game plan that I'm not aware of. I gotta think twice because I expected him to chase me or respond. But the way I tell my students is patience is the willingness to wait for what you want. And so if you can be in that line for however many hours to get to your favorite amusement park ride, you've got the patience because that's worth it. That's your goal. But if you get in line and you start booting people out of the way and picking up small kids and throwing them across the yard, they're gonna kick you out of the park real fast. So I love his version of it way better than mine. That's way more like fight-oriented and adult-oriented. But for little kids, I give them just the, hey, if you'll want it, sometimes it takes time to get there. Sometimes it takes time and training to get there, sometimes it takes uh an excessive amount of effort on your part just to not immediately freak out because there's other people in front of you in line. But if it's worth it, if the goal's there, if the if the option, the item is what you want, sometimes you got to take a step back and relax.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Well, I'm happy to send you a copy on from Amazon. Expect that in the mail for perhaps next week. And speaking of your kids, when a brand new kid walks into your dojo for the first time. What do you notice about them before they ever throw a punch?

SPEAKER_02 22:03

Uh how they carry themselves. I I my priority when a new student walks in or I meet them for the first time if they came on a different day is I'm gonna shake your hand, I'm gonna look you in the eyes. I don't care how old you are, I don't care what you're doing at the time. If I haven't met you yet, I'm gonna meet you. And how you introduce yourself to me and shake my hand tells me immediately where you are and like who you are, kind of. I got kids who sometimes they're like, nice to meet you, Coach Bear, and they shake, they're very aggressive and like, oh my God, this kid is so confident in himself. And other times I got kids who won't even look at me. They're looking at the floor and they won't pick their hand up. And as we've done this longer and longer now, from even from 2018 to 2026, I can see kids have gone from uh being overly uh confident to having no confidence to just not caring. They're on their, they're on their phones. I'm like, hey buddy, what's your name? And I put my hand out there and he's not even looking at me. He's playing a game on his phone. And I have to, I don't even, honestly, I don't even let the parent stop them. I stop them. I kind of get to where they cannot avoid me and say, hey, young man, I'm talking to you. Hey, can you look your can you look me in the eyes? Can you lift your head up? And then we get going from there. But it just tells me what to expect kind of as a student. What am I expecting from them? And occasionally I get surprised. Occasionally, that that iPhone kid puts it down and is a stud on the mats. Absolute amazing student. And then goes, class is over, right back to the game, right back to ignoring reality. So sometimes I'm surprised, but most of the time, if they're confident enough to look me in the eyes, they shake my hand, they're really excited about being there. I know that's gonna be a great student. I'm not gonna have to tell them a thousand times to stop talking or goofing off. And then honestly, so too the ones that are scared, maybe for different reasons. Maybe they don't want to act out and attract coaches' attention, but it's the ones that are very dismissive that I know, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to tell you the same lesson three different times. You're gonna goof off with your with your friends or whoever you make friends with here in the class. I know that you're gonna require more of my bandwidth. And it's not a bad thing.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

I just I figured out real quick. So then curious, as the central theme of this podcast is around gratitude.

Teaching Gratitude To Real Kids

SPEAKER_01 24:07

How do you teach gratitude in your dojo?

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Oh, I love that. I love that. So I think the biggest thing I do first off is I teach them to appreciate not just the gym itself, but the concept of what they're here for, what they're getting out of it. Because I'll have students that come in for bullying, and I'll have students that come in because they are the bully. I work with Riverside County uh correctional facilities. So where they call me and say, hey, this young man is going through the system because he's done X, Y, and Z. Part of his um parole is for extracurricular activities. Can he come to your gym? We know you don't charge, and they don't have it in them. Perfect. They come in, they do the class. And when they come back and they say, Hey, I'm so confident my bully tried to pick on me and I didn't let them, or hey, you know, I went this whole week and I didn't start a fight with anybody. I didn't let anybody get under my skin. And when I hear those stories, I ask them and I say, Well, hey, where did you where did that come from? Why did you behave that way? Why did you do that? And they reflect on and they think, oh, I I guess I wouldn't have done it if I didn't come here. And so it's not like I'm giving myself a pat on the back, but I'm saying them coming and making a difference, making a choice to show up here and do better for themselves. That's where I start to integrate that whole, hey, you have grown from doing this, you have gotten better from this gym. So when you're here at this gym, make sure you're listening to the coaches, make sure you're respectful to your teammates and you listen to the values we teach you about. Tell me how you initiated integrity in your life. Tell me how you initiated self-control today. What did you do with that executed self-control today at school, at home, wherever? And I show them that actually learning this stuff not only is just kind of a fun escape for a few minutes, but has real world benefits. And you can see it in the way they start to change and behave in class. You know, from having students that goof around and play around in the very beginning to realizing, oh, I'm actually learning good stuff here, I'm actually getting life experience here, I'm actually doing better in school now because I have this outlet. And so they put more into the gym. It's just getting them to realize, especially at a young age, what actually is helping and doing right for them. I mean, the adults are easy. I can I have adults who may be coming out of the prison system or who may be coming from a rough time or a bad time in their life, and they immediately know how to appreciate martial arts and the benefits from going to the gym. So it's it's more so giving it to the kids, but it's it's coaching. It's just trying to walk them through the answers until they arrive at to the arrive at that sense of gratitude themselves.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

What I just listened and heard from these past couple of minutes are two things self-awareness and integrity. I'm shocked to learn and understand that these kids know integrity, even though perhaps they may not know it in that word form.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

Like I said, I don't treat kids like their kids. And that I don't mean that in a sense of like, ah, you're 18, buck up, you can deal with this pain. I I mean that like, okay, you're you're eight, nine, ten. You know how to be that way already.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

My job is to teach you as the as a parental figure in your life, or sorry, like an adult figure in your life, how to be more of an adult, more of what Well, you are a parental figure for those that perhaps are certainly and truly underprivileged in terms of you know, growing up perhaps in a broken home. Unfortunately, you know, for me, life is unfair, it's unkind, it's unjust. However, right, the power of humanity and our inner spirit can lift all of us. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 27:23

And it takes a village. That's kind of the way I like to look at it. Sometimes you need that additional help in your life if you're overwhelmed as a parent yourself or as as the child. Um yeah, I I find that just giving them the opportunity to show that they can have integrity, teaching them the foundations of what it means to have morals, what it means to stand up for the right causes, what it means to avoid poor decisions, or at least look at your decisions and actions before you engage in them. It's all a it's all a lesson. It's all just time and effort and and getting to think through their actions. I I've got kids who come in.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Well, it's even a lesson for the parents, too, right? Because they'll they see the maturity, right? From day one to let's just say day 180 or whatever. It's a huge change. It really is.

SPEAKER_02 28:11

And I what do you tell what do you tell or teach the parents? Oh man. Honestly, the first thing a lot of times I have to do is get the parents to, you know, engage. Buy in. Sorry? To buy in. To engage and be. I I have um I have some really good parents that are really there for the students and they show up every day and they they ask about them, ask about the classes. They're really engaged, and it gives their their kids a lot of hope. And the kids love them, they want to be there when they think they're making mommy or daddy proud. And other times I got parents who like drop them off outside the door, pick them up outside the door. We don't really have any conversations. Um, and the kids are so meh, they're so laissez-faire about it. So it's the first thing is just to get is just getting the parents involved in in what's happening with the kids at the gym. And once I can get that going, then it it it makes life so much easier. They care more, they want to invest more in the gym. Um, they invite other people and their kids.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Plus, I'm sure it's it's what the kids talk to their parents about at the dinner table, right? Hey, mom, dad, let me tell you what I learned, right? At uh at the at the gym today.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

I I imag it's it's funny because of who I work with more often. I don't want to say that isn't true. I know they talk about it at home, but I think there's a a fair and equal number of students who also just don't want to talk to their parents because they don't, they whatever reason they don't want to talk to them. Okay. Um, but it's it's more so just about they they don't like to talk. A lot of these kids, they kind of don't like to engage with people or their parents. And so I try and break them out of the shells so that they so that they can have those conversations and so they can get their own parents more involved too. But I think the first step is teaching the parents, hey, you know, if you want your child to like this or grow or develop, you have to be, you have to be alongside them. You don't have to helicopter them, but you you need them to be that's right, they need you to be active in what they're doing. Show some kind of attention, interest, and that's gonna go a long way and help them develop further too.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Right or wrong, good or bad, parents are your very first teacher out of the womb.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

Absolutely they are. That's why it's so integral, it's so important. No matter who comes afterwards, I I can do my best, but if the person raising you is fundamentally flawed or doesn't care about you or what you're doing, it it almost it almost doesn't matter how much I try and I will try, but it's gonna have such a profound effect on your self-esteem, on what how you view the world.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

And uh the fun part of the of the podcast now is who is your goat in terms of martial arts?

The GOAT Debate And Bruce Lee

SPEAKER_02 30:47

And I I have this conversation a lot. I um I don't like the GOAT topic. Not not a not a not a slight tier question. It's just if we look back at the 90s, right, you can say or argue the greatest of all time fighting in the it would have been Hoyce Gracie because he's smoked everyone in the first four UFC tournaments, beat out all the other martial arts. And then we go into like 2008 era, 2010s, and you say, oh, Anderson Silver or George St. Pierre, those guys are 100% the goat. They would have beaten everyone from the 90s, they beat everyone today. And then we go into 20 teens and we're like Israel Adesanya, he would have beaten everyone, and he's at the great weight class to fight heavy or fight light, doesn't matter. And now we're in the 2020s, and people are saying that Ilya Taporia or Justin Gagey, and it just my thing is greatest of the time is real. Greatest of the time is like a factual conversation to have. And for me in modern day, I think a fair person to point out as being one of the best or the best to do it currently is Islam Makachev because of how dominant he's been, even with having one loss, he has beaten the top people in his uh in his categories numerous uh you know, time after time again. He hasn't had easy fights from getting into the UFC. But if you go back, uh go back five, ten years, oh no, uh Israel Adesanya is is the greatest of all time, and we don't even know who Islam is, he doesn't exist yet.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

This was an answer I was not expecting at all.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

I mean everyone's got a different take on it. My thing is just I don't like saying it because in my mind, greatest of all time means of all time. And we technically won't know the answer until we stop hyping MMA fights. When MMA concludes as a sport in whatever year or decade it is, then we can look back at the history and be like, all right, statistically speaking, this guy was the best because there's no more new blood, no more new talent coming into the fray.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

For me, my go to martial arts is the cultural icon that is Bruce Lee. Oh man, that's that's a good pick. Did you know? You know, fun fact here, his right leg was one inch shorter than his left.

SPEAKER_02 32:57

That's a substantial difference in in your mobility and walking and movement. Now now I'm thinking about it. I wonder if he's uh trying to remember if he stood south power or orthodox more often. Oh gosh, now we're getting too technical. I don't know. Uh like left foot forward or right foot forward when he fought. But um, no, fair enough. I just remember those. I just remember that one-inch punch, right? And just straight to the chest or wherever he put it on. He was gonna move you. He had a great understanding of mechanics of the body, too. So made him such a good martial artist. Yeah, that's that's what do you have any Bruce Lee stories? Uh not firsthand, unfortunately. I wish I did. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

The myth that is uh the myth that is Bruce Lee.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

You know, all only that he inspired a lot of the people that I looked up to as I got more into the sport. Because, like you said, he is a cultural icon. He is he is what got people. I mean, hell, he's the one who pretty much spring-loaded and started all those um McDojo fake kung fu studios that ran rampant throughout the 80s and 90s because everyone's looking at Bruce Lee and like, I want to learn how to fight people like Bruce Lee. And then Joe Schmo from Three Houses Down thought, I could teach you how to fight for like 300 bucks a month. You don't know how to fight, so it doesn't matter if I know how to fight, but I'll teach you. And so it's he and that's it's not a negative. He he just inspired so many people that it actually became a lucrative business to start scamming people, is how popular he made martial arts in our culture today.

SPEAKER_01 34:26

Oh,

Your Actions Build Your Life

SPEAKER_01 34:27

okay. Wow, that's yeah, let's we can't let's let's not go there, but uh this was an incredible episode, Bear. Thank you for coming on. And for the the folks that are listening or watching this, I mean every minute seemed to be a new sense of perspective and wisdom at Bear shed. Uh, you know, please take this into heart with how I guess for me, how you stand up to yourself, how you project your energy to the world, whether you are a father, a mother, a son, a daughter, an aunt, uncle, a nephew, or niece, or whoever, um, a teacher. So take please take uh what Bear had mentioned and uh you know internalize it, see the things that perhaps resonate with you. I always like to say that with all of my guests, it's the ability for people to become to become inspired, to become educated, to be entertained, but more importantly, learn something about yourself or rediscover something about yourself, which I think is so critical. Because at the end of the day, this podcast is all about how we can be the best version of ourselves and to invite storytellers like Bear and his journey as a martial artist, it's just priceless. Bear, I will give you the last word. Is there anything that I missed on this episode recording that you'd like to share to the audience?

SPEAKER_02 35:48

I would just want to touch on what we said earlier that you create you invite, uh basically you make whatever you want of the world around you and you put out the energy and you create what you're expecting. I think that is probably more important than anything we talked about uh here today because it it applies to everything and more. If you want to be this great fighter and martial artist, then you need to go out there and yes, train and all this other jazz, but you just have to believe in yourself first. You have to put out there in the world that that is what you're gonna be. If you want to believe that you're going to be rich and famous, you want to be the next Elon Musk, well, what matters is how much self-uh, like what's your self-esteem? Like how much you put out there. Do you make the effort to go and meet the right individuals and be in the right circles? Do you put out that effort? That's what matters most. And so if you if nothing else to take away from today, just take away that you decide what your life is going to be like through your actions every single day and through how you see yourself, what you believe you're capable of doing. Incredible. Thank you, Bear. Thank you.