Gratitude Starts Small — Here’s Why One Note Matters!

Welcome And Podcast Mission

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to the Yog Nation, the Spirit of Gratitude podcast on the OneTech platform. Hello, friends. My name is Yogesh Patel, and this podcast explores the themes of bullying self-awareness and the power of our inner spirit, including the silent battles we all face. Join me every week as I invite high-profile guests as we explore how adversity shapes us, how gratitude lifts us, and how we can all uncover the inner strength that we all have within ourselves. Join the conversation. I appreciate you listening in.

When Music Becomes A Lifeline

SPEAKER_02 0:36

What happens when music becomes more than sound? When it becomes identity, confidence, healing, and a place to belong. My next guest is Stacy Ryan, president of School of Rock, the number one global franchise of music schools, serving more than 70,000 students across 420 schools in 16 countries. But this conversation is not only just music education. It's about what happens when young people and even adults finally find a voice they may have lost through bullying, fear, judgment, or pain. Stacy's own journey, including escaping toxic environments, rebuilding her self-worth, and discovering how gratitude can become a daily practice of healing. Today, folks, we'll talk about music, identity, resilience, belonging, and how sometimes that stage becomes the place where people finally realize I matter. So true. With gratitude, welcome to the podcast, Stacy.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Thank you so much for that beautiful introduction. Uh, I do have a couple of updates. We're actually 450 locations in 19 countries as of today.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Uh-oh. Excuse him. Thank you for that update. That's amazing. That's amazing. And of course, School of Rock, not to be confused with Jack Black's movie, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:52

Correct. We actually predated the movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

He predated the movie, I'll be darn. Okay.

How School Of Rock Teaches

SPEAKER_02 1:57

So could you tell us uh about the organization?

SPEAKER_00 1:59

Yeah. Um, so we are a global franchise music education organization. Um, and we teach uh kids and adults how to play instruments by putting them in bands and on stages. Um, so we are the greatest music education platform that's out there and uh growing every day.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

What are you seeing kids in terms of how they transform themselves from when they first perhaps uh had their parents sign up to getting on stage at venues and uh at these incredible venues?

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Yeah, the transformation is is is incredible. And it's something I've been with School of Rock now for over 11 years, and I've witnessed so many different versions of these transformations of shy children who walk in with their heads down and you know, kind of gravitate towards the back of the stage, towards the shadows, and eventually are walking in and become, you know, the ambassador of their location, welcoming new students and are playing multiple instruments and are at the front of the stage and owning their position. And, you know, the the transformation that we've seen that I've personally witnessed, that everyone within School of Rock has witnessed, is so immense. And we've always known it for all these years, but we actually recently did a social impact study through a third party, and now we actually

The Data Behind Student Growth

SPEAKER_00 3:24

have data around it. So now we know through data, through almost 1,500 parents that were surveyed that participated, that 80.6% of our parents report their child is happier since joining School of Rock. And over 90% report that their child is more confident and has higher tolerance for peers who are different from them and are developing deeper relationships with their children. So we asked about, we also asked, you know, is their proficiency in their musical instrument improving? And that was at 99.9%. So we're good there. Um, but all the other things that come with it, and it just confirmed for us what we've always known that School of Rock is more than a music school.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

And just the downstream effects, Stacy, right? I mean, playing an instrument is one thing, but what does that do beyond just the self-confidence? It's the awareness, it's the appreciation, you know, perhaps it's the courage to get on stage. I mean, that's why I've always appreciated this part of uh of the liberal arts, so to speak, is because it shows you beyond just that form of expression, your identity.

Responsibility, Diversity, Safe Belonging

SPEAKER_00 4:36

Absolutely. And it also the way that we teach it, it teaches our kids responsibilities, not just to themselves, but to their their bandmates also. You know, they have to practice, not just because they should be practicing their instrument and progressing, but because if they show up to rehearsal and they're not prepared to run through that song, they're letting their bandmates down. You know, they have to take care of their instrument because if they're not caring for it properly, when they take it out of the case, it's not gonna function for them. Um, and they also learn just that differences are what make us all so special, right? They look and their bandmates are different from them, you know, gender, skin color, the way that they dress, the the color of their hair, their, you know, yeah, all of that. And our students learn that those things make it make you so much more special. And they learn to be their authentic selves because we create these safe spaces where they feel that not only can they be their true authentic self, but that version of them is the one that's celebrated the most.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

That is so true. I mean, and I always think too, even what perhaps bullied person that may have joined School of Rock.

The Tour Story That Changed Her

SPEAKER_02 6:00

And could you do you have an example to show? Or, you know, a kid that perhaps has walked in that was perhaps excluded, you know, what does joining a band give them that they may not get anywhere else?

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Yeah, I I share this story on a on a monthly basis with with prospect franchisees who are interested in exploring the idea of opening a school of rock. And it was one of my very first experiences here. I came to School of Rock as an educator and a consultant with no intention of leaving. And I just fell in love with this and leaving or leaving with no intention of leaving or leaving, um, or excuse me, no intention of staying. Like I wasn't planning on staying, and now, yeah. Um, and um we were on a I was on an all-stars tour, which basically takes our best of the best. So imagine 80,000 students across the globe. We run through multiple audition processes, we narrow it down to under 200 students. Those 200 students from all over, we fly them in to six different locations. We have six different tours, they have two and a half days to rehearse together for the very first time and get stage ready. And then they get on a bus and they're playing in a different show, in a different city, in a different venue every night for 10 nights. And this event is life-changing, not just for the students, but for the staff and the parents who follow along. And, you know, years ago we were taking a tour through Philadelphia and we stopped at the rocky stairs for the kids to have that experience because we like to leave in cultural experiences and the bus doors opened and the kids all ran out and they're sprinting up the steps and you know, having that moment, and all the adults stayed down at the bottom. And I looked over and there was a mother who was crying. And, you know, of course I walked over and I said, Is everything okay? Did something happen? And she shared with me that her son was autistic and that she never thought that he would have friends. And since joining School of Rock, not only has he found his place and made friendships, but here he is in this amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with all these kids that he didn't know four days ago, five days ago, having this incredible experience with 25 new friends from across the world. And she was just overwhelmed with gratitude and relief and happiness for her child. And it was in that moment that I realized there's something really special here at School of Rock, and I think I may have found my place.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

That's amazing. And you know, it's also what the children teach their parents from witnessing this transformation within themselves.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Absolutely.

Parents’ Worries And The Phone Rule

SPEAKER_02 8:57

Yeah. I'm curious, what do parents misunderstand about music education? I'm and that's what I really want to understand. What type of objections do you hear?

SPEAKER_00 9:06

Um, I mean, objections that we hear at School of Rock are a little bit different. You know, you think about music education and you often think about the classical trained sitting, the rote memorization, the one-on-one. That's not what we are. Um, so you know, when we explain that we teach music differently and how we teach it, you know, often we'll hear my child is shy. They're not going to want to get on stage, they're not going to want to perform. Um, they're going to feel weird with a bunch of kids that they don't know of all different ages and skill levels. And we always assure them that we we hear that often, we hear that frequently, and they will firsthand witness the transformation in their child. And, you know, that shy child who walks in with a head down and not looking at anyone in a few months is going to be on stage, you know, belting into a microphone to a room, a crowded room of an audience and owning that stage.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

You know, it just it just brought me a visual when people are looking down, they look down at their uh on their phones at Starbucks. It's like just look up, chin up, please, smile at someone. But anyway, that's tangential.

SPEAKER_00 10:22

A whole other topic of conversation, Your Gash. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

But at School of Rock, we actually pride ourselves. I mean, what's the thing you can't have in your hand when you're playing an instrument?

SPEAKER_02 10:34

An instrument?

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Your phone.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

Our kids have to put it down. Yeah. And in in many of our schools, we actually we we collect the phones. They don't even, they're not allowed in during rehearsals. And the reason for that is because we want the kids talking to each other, getting to know each other. We put board games out for them. If they want to do homework, they can do homework, but we want them hanging out. And if they're not currently on a song and they're waiting for their song to come up, get to know each other, build relationships, problem solve. Um, you know, practice that part of the song that you're struggling with, and maybe your cut your band mate, you know, has played it before and can give you some tricks to it. We don't want the kids heads down on their phones on social media while they're waiting.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Well, you you bond, right? I think it's it's it's it's such an amazing bonding experience. Yeah, yeah. And I think that's where the diversity, that's where the kindness, the empathy, I mean, all of these things that I'm trying to achieve on this podcast to make sure that uh, you know, be these guardians of gratitude. And kindness is the domain of the strong. That's my

Bullying, Self-Worth, And Leadership

SPEAKER_02 11:40

little Jones for you. Um Yeah, and those taste, I'm curious. You lead an organization built around, again, this voice, this confidence, and belonging. And if you are open to share, you know, being vulnerable, do you think your own experience of feeling unseen helped you recognize this need in others?

SPEAKER_00 11:57

Absolutely. Uh, I'm an open book and I've had my journey, but I'm I'm incredibly grateful for my journey. Cause when I look back at every moment, even the worst moments, had they not happened, it wouldn't have made the space for the best moments to have happened. Um, so yeah, I mean, going through those experiences, you just acknowledge how important mattering is and feeling valued is. And it has shaped me in ways of leadership, you know, how I manage and how I lead the team. Um, you know, my own experience of feeling being made to feel terrible for asking for time off to celebrate my nephew's birthday, um, which I didn't do until he was finally 10 years old because his birthday is the end of the month. And that was when we were pushing to hit monthly goals in my first organization. And I wasn't allowed to take the day off. And, you know, now it's like anyone wants time off, they get their time off. They don't have to give me the reason why, like it's theirs. They've earned it, and I trust the team to make the the good calls on that. So I think, you know, being bullied not just as a child, but early in my career also really helped shape more who I didn't want to be than who I did want to be. I was more focused on that and took some big steps to kind of like rework my path because I felt myself going down that path of learning from those people who did bully as a leader or as a manager. And when I felt myself falling into that, I took some big steps to course correct and make some changes. And, you know, still I'm always trying to be incredibly aware aware of that.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

And you know, something similar to that that I personally believe in, this is what I'm I'm open to share, and that is who I am is who I'm not, right? Based on my life experiences, family, professional work environment. It's not being an arrogant person, it's not being a rude person, you know, it's not being jealous. And so those are the qualities that I completely run away from. And you know, I can sense that energy perhaps in a in an well, and I I can sense, I'm learning to have to sense an energy, um, you know, whether they're narcissistic, but again, I don't want to go down down that rat hole. But again, I think you are absolutely right. And that is, I think that's another thing that's um an underutilized tool in terms of discovering who you are. Again, that's that self-awareness. And that self-awareness is like, okay, who who am I not? Right? If you can't describe yourself who you are, great, who are you not? And I think that will lead you to have that journey of self-discovery and and and project that energy onto others. Yeah.

Frontwomen And The C-Suite Gap

SPEAKER_02 15:00

Well, and you know, again, being that you are in this leadership role, you launched frontwomen.org to support women in leadership. Was that born from seeing women succeed or from knowing how many women are quietly carrying stories of their own doubt, survival, and rebuilding?

SPEAKER_00 15:16

That was born from being a woman, trying to climb the corporate ladder. Um, it's hard. It's different. Um, it's very different for women. And, you know, beauty standards are different. You know, I talk openly about early in my career, I was told to put lipstick on that I would be more successful. Um, you know, sitting in boardrooms, looking around a table and just being the only woman at the table, other than the note taker or the person taking coffee and lunch orders. Um you know, those moments are tough. You dealing with, you know, being called a bitch, you know, just because I was assertive, um, or I knew the approach that I wanted to go and constantly, constantly being told that I have to dull my edges, then I'm too sharp. Um, and you know, trying to navigate that while I'm watching male colleagues be actually more abrasive in and it be applauded. So when when I finally was awarded the chief operating officer position at School of Rock, I recognized, you know, I was part of low at that time 24% of women represented C-suite roles. It's not much higher now, it's only at like 27%. Um, but I recognized.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

How fun, I'm sorry, what was what was uh is this five years ago, 10 years ago? Help me understand.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

This is probably seven years ago now, because I'm the president for two years and I was chief operating for five. And uh yeah, it didn't has not gone very far in a long amount of time.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Only 25 to 27 percent. That's only two percent.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Yeah, it's a problem.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

That's that's negligible. That that's around.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

It's a problem. And yeah, I felt like in that moment, that was the first time in my career that I could actually take a pause and take a breath and not be so laser focused on what I had to do to get to now the next step. And in that moment where I had that wave of relief, I also felt that wave of responsibility knowing the small population that I represented now. And that's where Front Woman came from, because I just want to be able to, in any way that I can, create a an easier path for the young women and girls coming up behind me. I have a young niece. I don't want her to have to navigate the things that I had to navigate. And if we can learn together, and if we can, you know, learn from each other and help each other and support each other to understand things and to debunk imposter syndrome and to break apart these beauty standards and to discuss the difference between, you know, being called a bitch and just you know, advocating for yourself and how that's appropriate, then we're we're better for it, we're more powerful for it.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

And is there a message to the males? I mean, not to make this a very not to make the sexist by by any stretch of the imagination, right? Because you find ill intended people on, you know, whether they're they're you know, guy

Allies, Bias, And Owning Your Voice

SPEAKER_02 18:32

or girl, it doesn't matter. But is is the message any different? Uh I guess, you know, for me the way that I'm looking at it is just to remind them, right? Uh, because I think we all not we all, I shouldn't say that, but deep down, right, there is goodness in us, and it's just a matter of how we project that and how we change that belief in within ourselves. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

And Front Woman is open to everybody. Uh, we have many men who join on a regular basis, either because they have daughters and they want to understand, or because they have sons and they want to help teach them how to be better allies and advocates for it. And we we need our male colleagues, we need our allies in the room for us. And some of my greatest supporters, some of the people who have lifted me up the most have have been men in my life who have stood up and said, Hey, you're all looking at me for the answer, but she's the one actually that's gonna make the decision, and then all heads turned towards me. And that that was that was my male boss who did that. And he didn't have to, but he saw what was happening in that room and didn't like it and wanted to make sure he shifted that appropriately.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Um, so was there any pressure that you felt when you when uh the spotlight and the cameras were turned on you?

SPEAKER_00 19:47

No, it was it was more of a hey, um yeah, I'm here. And it was funny because one of those, one of the men in those situations who was kind of boxing me out until he made that comment when I was awarded chief operating officer. I received a note from them that said, Congratulations, always knew you had it. To which my response was, you didn't, um, but you do now. And I appreciate the note and I look forward to working together. Um, yeah, so it's you know, we all have to, we all have to help each other be better. No one does it intentionally, well, majority don't do it intentionally. Um, so it's just learning and being open to the other side and the other perspective and the other experiences, and you know, thinking of it with a mindset of, okay, you know, I didn't think of it, but maybe they're right on that, and leaving that space to possibly be wrong.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

True. That is so true. I mean, I just think of everyone has their own maturity levels and cycles, and whether you are forced to confront it, or if it comes naturally, or if it or if it becomes an a self-evolution, right? I guess that's the way that I see it.

Gratitude Journaling On Hard Days

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Um and you also keep a gratitude journal yourself, Stacey. Um, but curious, and this is even for me as well, what do you write down on days when gratitude doesn't come to you naturally?

SPEAKER_00 21:17

Or I am not as consistent with my gratitude journal as I should be. Um however, I will say that as soon as I start to feel myself slipping in any way, it's the first thing that I pick back up and I get right back to it. And sometimes in those moments, it is hard to find um what's the thing that you're grateful for. So I will some days it will be the smallest thing. I had a delicious lunch today, or the sun was shining, or you know, I avoid double negatives, so I always want to keep it positive. Um, you know, I I took a walk around the block. Um, so I I

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Just as simple as that.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Just as simple as that. And then you know, continuing to do it consistently every single day, and the other stuff starts to come because there's almost like this internal fight, right? When you're not feeling it and you're trying to force it and get yourself back into that mindset, there's almost like this mental block where it's like, I have nothing to be grateful for. And it's like you do, you're just not realizing it, you're just not aware of it right now in this moment. And that's okay. So if you start to show gratitude for the silly little things, like, you know, the sun was shining today and got outside for a quick walk. Um, then as you start doing it, all the other stuff starts to get easier and you start to see it more. And what I've learned is the more you practice gratitude, the more grateful you are. And the more things that you start to see that are so great. And when you stop practicing gratitude, that's when you start to see more of the negative.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Yeah, and I guess I'm just, you know, the the cap that I'm wearing right now is for that person that doesn't see hope, right? Again, life is hard, it's unjust, right? It's it's unkind in in many for many individuals. And again, the spirit of gratitude is just to make sure that they take a deep breath, close their eyes, and they're gonna say, in spite of how my life is right now, right, I can do better and be better. And this is just one this is just one small part, you know, not to say time heal heals all wounds, but in that moment of time, yes, you are in the gutter, right? But that's not, it's it's temporary. And so, you know, how do you, you know, what is that energy like that gets you out of that stage? And I think gratitude certainly is one of those foundations that you know help you with your you know, body chemistry, you know, the uh the the dopamine levels and you know whatever happens in the back in the you know, from a biochemistry standpoint. And so, you know, I'm more curious to find out, you know, what would be your uh advice or perspective, I guess is a better word, perspective on when things are down, what do you do?

Giving As A Way Back To Hope

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Yeah, I mean, I I think a good way to shift perspective is to I'll ask myself, okay, if I were in a room with people and everybody wrote their problems down on a piece of paper and put it in the hat, and then you just chose from random in that hat, would I want to do that or would I want to keep my problem? And I would typically want to keep my problem. And, you know, for me, I went through a very challenging time in my life, a a volatile divorce. And what I found the greatest gift was giving. And, you know, Victor Wutin, an incredible bassist and just human as a whole, had said it once so eloquently. And basically, we live in a society where it's like we're so focused on what you have and getting things and compiling and collecting and all of this stuff. But when you turn that focus and you give, what happens is you realize how much you already have. And now you have all this to give to somebody else. And you don't need more because you already have all this stuff. And I turned a lot of my attention to giving, to giving my time, to giving my care, to giving help to those less fortunate. Um, I mentored exoneries for a long time in pro in partnership with the Innocence Project. I volunteered at Animal Sanctuaries, you know, helping those who can't help themselves and rehabbing those who came from terrible abuse situations to trust, love, and affection again. And I found a lot of power in giving. And I I think that there is a lot of power in that.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Um, and when you focus on well, I think that also shows, and I uh um, and that also shows in your students as well, because

Music, Nostalgia, And Family Bonds

SPEAKER_02 26:20

they are giving back what they learned. Right? I mean, that's why I believe music is so powerful, and it reminds me of what Bill Carter, um, he's an award-winning filmmaker. So, you know, if you can indulge me here for a second, and for the audience, uh great episode, by the way. So, Bill Carter is one of these volunteers back in the 90s who delivered food, water, medicine to the where the United Nations did not want to deliver food, water, medicine in the Kosovo wars back in the early 90s. And so he had this you know brilliant idea to invite YouTube to live stream their European concerts to the people that were living in Kosovo, which Bill found out that there was such a a tremendous art culture underground in terms of music and arts and painting and everything else. And so, you know, lo and behold, he got you know got uh U2 to play and live streamed and basically brought attention to the world about what was happening in Kosovo. And I think that helped certainly change the tides of the war, uh tides of the war. Um, and he wrote this memoir called Fools Rush In. Later than it became a documentary called Uh Kiss the Kiss the Future, something that you two shared. Um and I mean Bill was friends with you know The Edge and Bono himself. But one of the things that he mentioned on the podcast is that you know art unfortunately is one of these things that get cut by governments. Um but he he reminded us that if you think about uh you know what what a song does in particular, art you know, you a person passes away, how do you remember them? You think of a poem, you think of a song that reminds you of them again, and it reminds you of you again. I think that's the power of what art does, especially music. Because I mean, boy, I used to listen to the Backstreet Boys, and you know, one song in particular gets me back to Napa Valley. So, and I'm sure it's just an incredible feeling for your students to play something where it'll bring back those memories of bonding and friendship and giving.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Well, it's interesting, it actually will bring back those feelings for their parents because our students are learning bands that they maybe hadn't heard of before, you know, they don't know who who rushes, they don't know really kiss songs and music, or even the Beatles. And, you know, we're teaching them that music, and they end up becoming fans of that music, and now they're performing it for their parents. So it's it's very nostalgic for the parents when they're seeing their child play the music that they grew up to, or when they get into a car to drive them to school and you know, their child to be like, uh, can you put queen on? Yeah, like I could totally put queen on, you know. Um, so it's it's really interesting how it's created this this bond between child and parent, also through that power of music.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

And you just triggered an emotional memory for me being in fifth grade. I played trumpet for maybe three weeks, and it's always the reason why parents discourage their kids from playing music because the music, let's just say, isn't high level. I mean, you you hear the noise in the house and they couldn't put up with it.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Right. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 29:50

What can you do? I mean, I just found other, I just discovered other talents that I had. Um, Stacy, this has been incredible. Um, thank you kindly for sharing your wisdom, sharing your perspective on on music, that journey of self-discovery. And in the remaining minutes that we have, is there anything that I missed in terms of our conversation that you would like to share to the audience who I call the citizens of Yog Nation?

Why Music Still Unites Us

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Um, no, just you know, I underestimated the power of music education. I admit that. Um, as an educator, when I came to School of Rock, I had to convince myself that I was still enriching lives and that it was still education, but it was music education. And I was wrong. I was so wrong, and I've learned that. And don't underestimate the power of music. It is the universal language that we have. I visit all these countries with our schools and hear our kids performing the same songs, and I watch our events where kids from all over the world get together from different cultures with language barriers and just not fully understanding how the other one lives their life. But when they get on stage and they play music together, none of that other stuff matters. It truly is a thing that brings us all together. And, you know, even during COVID and all the political tension that's happening, you go into an arena for a band that you love and you're with tens of thousands of people. And for those two hours, everybody is focused on the same thing. Everybody is believing in the same thing. And all of our differences in our beliefs, they they they don't matter in those moments because we're all focused on the music and the feeling that the music is giving us and the power of us all enjoying that together. Um, so I would just say don't don't underestimate the power of music.

SPEAKER_02 31:56

And even as a performer, I remember asking this question to Sidney Justin, lead singer for the miracles, the band that Smogey Robinson created decades ago in Motown. He said when he gets on stage, he just experiences love. And I think that's the best way to describe what that experience is like as a listener or as a person playing the instrument, to give a person hope, to forget their worries for just a little bit, and for you to to be to be you again.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

Incredible. Thank you, Stacey.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

Thank you for having me. This is wonderful.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

My pleasure and my honor. Take care.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

You too.