The Power of Gratitude: How It Protects You From Burnout

Welcome And Guest Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Yoga Nation, the Spirit of Gratitude podcast on the OneTech platform. Hello, friends. My name is Yogesh Patel, and this podcast explores the themes of bullying, self-awareness, and the power of our inner spirit, including the silent battles we all face. Join me every week as I invite high-profile guests as we explore how adversity shapes us, how gratitude lifts us, and how we can all uncover the inner strength that we all have within ourselves. Join the conversation. I appreciate you listening in.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

She's a respected physician, best-selling author, successful entrepreneur, sought-after public speaker, mother, style icon, and a former reality cast member, where somehow she came out of it with her humor, grace, and perspective intact. But today we're gonna go beyond the resume. We're gonna talk about the pressure behind achievement, parenting without passing down perfection, and what she would say to her 12-year-old self. We'll explore how gratitude can become protection from burnout, and why so many women and men as well wait for permission to step into their gifts. And of course, her personal prescription for finding joy, juggling life, career, family, and just a few opinions from social media with her nearly one million Instagram followers. And with gratitude, welcome to the podcast, Dr. Moon.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

Hi, thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Oh, it's it's my honor, my pleasure. Thank you for your time. So,

Making Peace With Childhood

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Dr. Moon, I'm really curious, as you write about your upbringing in your best-selling book, Joy Prescriptions: The Good and the Bad, how did you make peace with your past? And to give you some context, it's your answer would provide a window for those that are perhaps fighting their inner demons that prevents them from making the best versions of themselves.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

You know, uh, when I look back on my childhood, it certainly was not picture perfect. Um, but I have to remind myself that my parents were doing the best they could with what they had. And I think that's true for many of us right now. You know, they were poor students that immigrated to America in the late 1980s. They were dealing with a lot of um racism. Uh, they were dealing with the pressure to perform and succeed as students here in America. And um, they always grew up, I feel like, with a scarcity mindset. They didn't have abundance, and so it was hard to have an abundance mindset. And so they raised me the only way that they knew how, which was to try to warn me of the evils of the world and to protect me and to warn me. Um, because they had dealt with a lot of stuff, you know, growing up. It's not necessarily um, you know, an idyllic, carefree childhood, but I've made peace with it and I'm not upset at my parents at all. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

That's beautifully stated because I know that, you know, from a perspective, it's really around, you know, they have their own struggles that perhaps they may not have have communicated, unlike today's generation, where things are more open. I think that generation was was uh built differently compared to today's society. So I I totally understand. I myself am a uh a child of of immigrants that I came from India, you know, eight bucks in his pocket, and you know, all of the sacrifice and struggle they uh and you know achieving the American dream. So I I totally understand and respect what you mentioned because I grew up I wouldn't say quite similar, but very similar traits. So

Parenting Without Passing Perfection

SPEAKER_01 3:55

as a parent now, Dr. Moon, how do you honor that discipline and sacrifice from your upbringing without perhaps having those same pressures that you have when raising your uh your children?

SPEAKER_03 4:08

The problem with my childhood is I did well because I was scared that if I didn't, that I would be punished. I also equated my self-worth with my external achievements. And while that may have built a very quote unquote successful person by external measures, what it really did was cause a lot of insecurity for me and anxiety because I always thought that I needed to be achieving in order to be worthwhile. Now, with my children, I tell them that I love them. So already we're doing better. Um I tell them that their worth is not predicated on their external achievements. Their worth is based on how they are as a human. Are they kind? Do they help other people? Um, do they practice gratitude? Um, are they curious? Are they creative? Like all these sorts of things that frankly, to me as a child, were never even thought of. Like creativity and curiosity, like get out of here, you know, like let's talk about your math grades. And and so what I'm hoping to do, and I don't know if this is the right way, like anyone else doesn't know if their parenting is the right way. What I hope to do is to create emotionally resilient children who have the ability to learn and be curious, but know that it's okay to make mistakes, who are willing to put themselves out there, who approach the world through a lens of curiosity without judgment, who like to travel and learn about other cultures and other people and other kinds of food, and be like, oh wow, like the way my family does it is totally different. And just have an appreciation for everyone else out there. You know, I never traveled as a child, and and I think that when you travel, I don't know, there's a kind of learning, uh experiential learning that you could read all the books in the world and not discover that. Um, so I don't know. I mean, look, it's not like I threw everything out the window and told my kids, like, oh yeah, do whatever. You know, they're still expected to work hard and make straight A's. Let's not get too crazy here.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

The standards and the standards and and the bars are the high.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

And but they understand that the standards are high because I want them to have a full life. And it's not like making an A for the sake of making an A and checking off the box. It's that I want them to have like a rich learning experience. And if you're struggling with something, and for example, one of my girls doesn't like history, and her grades reflected that. And she told me, mommy, it's boring. It's boring learning about all these like things that happened long time. Like, what does that have to do with me? You know, and I I get that. I mean, she has a valid argument. So then we started reading more interesting books, we watched a movie, and now she has a little bit more interest in it. So it's more of just meeting children at their level and making things fun for them.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

That is so true. Is that the same advice you would give your 12-year-old self at that moment when you were 12 years old?

What She Tells Her 12-Year-Old

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Or is that anything different?

SPEAKER_03 7:41

I mean, there are so many things I would tell my 12-year-old self. I would probably tell her, like, it's gonna be okay. It's gonna work out. Because I just had such bad anxiety that, like, if I didn't make straight A's and get into medical school and all this stuff, like the world was gonna come crashing down. And I would just tell her, like, it's gonna be okay. You don't have to, you know, live on this one straight path towards the finish line. You know, you're not a racehorse, like I wrote in Joy Prescriptions. Um, and also I would tell her it's okay to have a little fun. Because when I was a young child, I really thought that you could be smart and studious and serious, or you could make jokes and have fun and be in the moment. And I really believed in my little 12-year-old head that these two things were mutually exclusive. That if you made jokes and lived in the moment, then that meant that you weren't serious about your studies, you know? And the fact of the matter is, like they're not mutually exclusive. You know, you can be an incredibly hardworking professional that makes an impact in society and still let your hair down once in a while, have some hobbies, not be so serious. And in fact, I think that that makes for a more well-rounded person that at the end of the day makes for a better professional. Like I want my doctor, my lawyer, my accountant, whoever, to have an outside life of their profession and not like eat, breathe, sleep medicine because that's a recipe for burnout and unhappiness, to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Well, let's get into that.

Gratitude Versus The Finish Line

SPEAKER_01 9:28

You know, how did gratitude become more than just appreciation and start becoming an inantitude from burnout? Again, being a doctor yourself, of course.

SPEAKER_03 9:37

Yeah, I it it's so often in life that we're on this hedonistic treadmill, right? It's like I grew up in China and then in a one-bedroom apartment where my quote unquote room was a mattress in the living room, you know, not really a room. Um, and now I live in a 10,000 square foot house with a swimming pool and a movie theater. And it's like things get better. And it's like we all have this arrival fallacy that's like, oh, when this happens, then I'll be happy, right? And it happens like when I get into school, when I get married, when I have kids. Like, and it's always the finish line moves. Not to say that these things don't make me happy. Trust me, I'm very happy. But if you always live your life like I'll be happy when the fact of the matter is, you get there and it's not good enough. You know, I'm like, oh, the first year my business grosses a million dollars. Like that'll be amazing. And then I did that, and I'm like, oh, that's not enough, like two million, right? Like it's it's always like that. And so I have found, at least for me personally, that gratitude has been the antidote to this feeling. Because when you sit in your gratitude, and I'm like, oh my gosh, look at everything I have. My family is healthy. I love my husband. My children are thriving. Like when I sit in that gratitude, it's hard to go back to the place that's like, oh, well, I want my business to make even more money. I want to do more things, right? And so sometimes I just have to pull myself back from that feeling. You know, I almost have a million followers. So when I cross a million, oh, we'll have balloons and cake. And it's like, it doesn't matter. Nothing's gonna change. You're still the same person, you still have the same problems. And so whenever I feel myself feeling that way, I try to practice gratitude.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Do you ever pinch yourself and say, wow? I mean, I've not not to say that I've made it, but I have found fulfillment.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

Yeah. I mean, I I pinch myself, I slap myself, I'm like, is this really some days? I'm like, is this really my life right now? And I'm just so full of gratitude. You know, I was sitting uh in a circle with women in Costa Rica talking about our personal issues, where our businesses are going. I was coaching them, they were coaching me. There was laughter, there was tears. And I'm just like, gosh, this is my life right now. Like, how great is this that I'm getting to help other women? They're getting to help me. We're gaining clarity, we have all this connection. And it's just so great. I'm I'm so grateful. I know that sounds trite, but like I am so grateful.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

No, and I think a lot of it though is again, where do you start?

Stop Waiting For Permission

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Right. I think people have these aspirations, both personally and professionally. You know, they have an idea, they have a gift, a business inside of them. And sometimes, probably more often than not, they keep waiting for that permission, either from their spouse, their kids, their schedule, their confidence, or even their own inner critic. And what's your advice?

SPEAKER_03 12:57

I always tell my clients two things. I say, no one is coming to save you, and no one is going to give you permission. Why is it that you feel that you even need permission, first of all? Because that may be some limiting beliefs or societal things that have been put into your head, right? Um, and so first is like dissecting why they feel like they even need to ask for permission. And then I'm like, if you're looking for someone to give you permission, like how about me? I give you permission. I give you permission to make the career pivot because the one you're in right now no longer serves you and you don't feel passionate about it. I give you permission to go online and put yourself out there and talk about your experiences. I give you permission to get out of the marriage that no longer serves you and doesn't bring you joy. Like, I don't know, and this is not to put a gender on things, but I feel that this is a very uniquely female problem, generally. And I say, in this circumstance, why don't we take a page from the men's playbook and stop asking for permission and just do the damn thing already?

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Instead of a wand, you probably can do it with with a stethoscope, right?

SPEAKER_03 14:17

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

No, this is great. I mean, I think this is great advice for certainly the women out there that are trying, again, having this idea that you don't need permission. I think that's that is a very important message that needs to be reshared and retold time and time again. Because the more you hear it, the more you start believing in yourself and that body chemistry changes, that energy within you changes so that you can achieve that thing that you wanted. I totally understand that. And so, you know, curious, you've built this personal brand in public again, as a doctor, an author, a speaker, content creator, an entrepreneur. But from an what part of entrepreneurship surprised you the most, Doctor, at the moment? Was it the freedom, the fear, or the judgment?

SPEAKER_03 15:09

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

I think that's I think the judgment is what may prevent women, especially, from bringing these gifts out within them.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

Yeah. It's it's the fear of the judgment. And sometimes it's like we pre-judge ourselves, you know, like somebody wants to start making social media reels or start a business. And before they even start, in the back of their head, they're like, oh, but what are people gonna say? Like, so and so is not qualified to do that. Like, who does she think she is? You know, we're like pre-judging ourselves, it's crazy. Um, so again, like I always say, like, you just have to go for it. And the fact of the matter is, people will judge you. Like, that's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:57

Um, any big person, celebrity, entrepreneur, whatever has had failures, and not a hundred percent of people like their service or product. That's why there's, you know, 20 different brands of water. It's like everyone has their favorite brand of water. And I'm like, really? It's just water. Um, and and so that's what I teach my clients like that you cannot let the fear of judgment stop you from even starting.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

Well, and you're giving them permission right now. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And, you know, and giving this permission gives them joy and probably gives you joy. And again, but entrepreneurship can be exhausting too. You know, how do you juggle and build something ambitious without creating that same potential burnout that you were earlier trying to escape?

Ambition Without Entrepreneur Burnout

SPEAKER_03 16:50

Yeah, that's the thing with entrepreneurship. Like if it's your company, you're always on, right? Like if something goes wrong, um, until you know you get to a certain level and you maybe can hire a CEO and all those kind of people, like everything is your problem at the beginning. When I started my first company, I would joke with people that I was the CEO, CFO, CMO, COO. It was me. You know, I was like making the candles, shipping the candles, dealing with customer service, taking the pictures, uploading them online, like every single little thing. But that's what it's like. So I would say the first part of it is that you have to be passionate about your business. Because if you're not passionate about it, all this stuff is going to take a toll on you. The second thing is you have to take care of yourself. At some point, you have to be like, you know what, shop is closed. I need a mental health day. I'm going to the spa. Because the fact of the matter is, if you go kaput, you know, if you get sick or, you know, some chronic illness or something, like the whole business is going to fail anyway. So you need to do whatever it takes and put the investment in yourself, your health, physically and mentally. And that's really the best thing you can do for your business.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

What about the objections that you say to yourself? Yeah, but, right? Yeah, I want to do these things, yeah, but, right? Again, I know I need to prioritize exercising while I'm trying to build and create this vision that I have. But things slide. What do you say? What do you say to that? Again, this is for that individual that it's not them making excuses, but in terms of, you know, perhaps that's another reason why they they may fear that undertaking themselves. It's like, holy crap, what did I get myself into?

SPEAKER_03 18:35

Yeah, I mean, you can't do everything every day, right? Um, I read a book a few years ago. Now, of course, I forgot the title of it, but it's by Mark Zuckerberg's sister, Randy Zuckerberg. Yeah. And the premise of the book is basically like five things. It's like family, fitness, your career, sleep. I forgot the fifth thing. This is this is my perimenopausal brain fog speaking. Um, but basically, like every day you choose three things, right? So if you choose like fitness, sleep, and family, perhaps that day you're not working on your business or whatever, and that's fine. And then other times it's like your business, family, fitness, right? But you cannot fit five things into the day. And that's the lesson. The lesson is basically that you can't do everything all at once, and you need to have some days where you prioritize some things and some days where you prioritize other things, and then take a look at the end of a week or 30 days and be like, oh, I wanted to get to the gym three times a week, and I really only did it one time a week. How do I need to restructure my time and my priorities so that I can do this thing that I want to do? I mean, there's been times in my life where I was like at the gym three to four times a week, feeling good. And then there's been times in my life where for two months I didn't make it to the gym. But I'm like, you know what? I'm a pretty active person. I don't live a sedentary lifestyle. And I knew that that was gonna be deprioritized for a period of time because I had a big project that I was working on. And that's okay. Like that's how life goes sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Well, I think that's also another element of goal setting without feeling too bad, right? Because I mean, even for myself, I can say that I need to do like you, right? Being CEO, C, you know, CFO, you know, all of these hats that you wear as a small business owner. It's like, where do I start? And at the end of the week, you don't feel bad or down yourself because you weren't able to do X, Y, Z. And I think this three out of five theory is per is perfect because then it just makes you not feel so bad about yourself, saying, Well, I didn't do this, I didn't do that. No, I prioritize my day for these three things that I'm gonna do, and the next day, another perhaps it's a it's the same three or it's a different. So you don't feel bad for yourself.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Yeah, yeah. That's

Reality TV Judgment And Cyberbullying

SPEAKER_01 21:02

uh well, and and speaking of prior priorities, I mean, how did you manage to wedge in the real housewives of Dallas? I mean, that's probably an undertaking in itself. And you know, my question here, uh, Dr. Moon, is you know, reality TV gave people a version of you, but not the whole you. And after the show, did the public judgment force you to build thicker walls, or did it eventually teach you to become more free?

SPEAKER_03 21:32

Oh gosh. Um, I mean, it probably did both. Uh the the crazy thing about housewives is you go from being relatively unknown to having people recognize you at the grocery store and at the airport.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

And it's just so jarring at first that you know, you get I was not used to it. Sometimes it happens, I'm still not used to it. Um it allowed me to be. Myself because it's too exhausting to keep up a facade of someone that you're not. And so when I went on the show, I was very intentional about just being myself, all the good, all the bad. So for anyone that's seen Real Housewives of Dallas season five, like what you see on that show is basically how I am. I didn't try to play a character. Um, and so, you know, I it was freeing in that way. But then when you're being yourself and all these people say terrible things about you, like, your voice is annoying, your face is ugly, your fashion sense sucks. Why do you always mention that you're a doctor, you're so full of yourself? It's like, wow, that hurts because I was just being myself. You know, as an actor in Hollywood, if they play a part and that part is the villain and people don't like it, it's like fine, I'm just playing the part, right? It's not personal. But with reality TV, it is quite personal. And it is hurtful when people say things to you about you that hurt. I am a human after all. Um, but then at the end of the day, like it it hurt a lot in the beginning. And then as time passed, it hurt less and less. And by and large, bullies are not that creative, and they all say the same five things. So after that, I was like, Well, do you have anything else?

SPEAKER_01 23:21

Five things.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

The ones that I just said, you know, she's so full of herself.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Yeah, okay. I thought there was more than that that you mentioned, but yeah, I get it. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

She's not, she's not cute. Um, yeah, it just and it just it gets old, and you're like, oh, I guess they have nothing else to pick on, right? Um so I'm kind of over it now. Um, and now if I do see mean comments on social media, like I really it doesn't uh like ruffle my feathers at all. But it really did at, you know, five, six years ago when I first started.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

So you uh two-part question. Uh the first part is you have an acronym for haters. Can you tell the citizens of Yogg Nation what that is?

SPEAKER_03 24:04

Well, yes, I must um put a disclaimer that it is not my acronym. Like I didn't invent it, um, but I do feel that I am an ambassador of it and I have to feel it. So the word haters stands for having anger towards everyone reaching success, because that's what a hater is. A hater is not a business owner that looks at you trying to start your own business and makes fun of you. A hater is not someone who was out of shape and looks at you trying to get into the gym or run a half marathon and says something derogatory. A hater is always someone who is doing less than you, but has something to say about the things that you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

So um, I always teach my clients that when they start posting on social media and stuff, like it's very cringe. That's like the word that the cool days uh the cool kids use now. Like, oh my God, that's so cringe. Well, I always say, climb cringe mountain. You must climb cringe mountain because on the other side of the mountain is the recognition and success and money that you want, right? But first you have to climb the mountain. And there's always haters behind you as you are climbing cringe mountain. Always. But the key word here is behind. They're always behind you, they're never on top, you know, looking down. They're always behind you trying to criticize your move. So just remember that. And next time you have a hater in real life or on social media, you know, in in the south here, we say, Oh, bless their heart, you know, which ritually means go away. I don't care for you.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Yeah, I mean, I always like to believe that people are fighting their own karmic past and demons. And so, you know, that leads me to on this similar thought pattern is uh the cyberbullying. I mean, would you consider it being you being cyberbullied, or is just the part of you know, overcoming this this uh this part of becoming successful of successful? I guess how did you deal with the comments? And again, in context for um a person that is a bullying victim, a cyberbullying victim, or even something that you could teach the parents, I think that's gonna be that that's also key as well.

SPEAKER_03 26:32

And yeah, I mean there's the old adage that hurt people, hurt people, right? Yeah, like I and presumably you do not go on social media, see content that we don't particularly love or whatever, and then leave like a hateful, spiteful comment, right? I see things on social media that I don't agree with or care with, and mostly I just scroll by, or if it really irks me, I'll block the person or something so I don't need to see more of their content. But I certainly don't go in the comments and like say something hurtful towards that person, especially directed at them personally, right? And so you just have to think like, who are the people that are taking time out of their day to leave these terrible comments? Like, don't they have to I feel sorry for them?

SPEAKER_01 27:19

I mean, for me, it's like, don't they have anything better to do? Right.

SPEAKER_03 27:23

No, they don't. Because they get like a little dopamine hit by thinking that they're bringing you down a notch. Like, oh, I'm gonna give her a taste of whatever, you know, oh, your outfit is so ugly, blah, blah, blah. Like, okay, that's your opinion, and you are entitled to your opinion. But I would never say that to someone, even though I might think it in my head or something. You know what I mean? I just I I'm think about the type of person that does that. They must not be very happy in their life.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

Yes, yeah, that's so true. And

Supportive Partner And True Confidence

SPEAKER_01 27:58

you know, Dr. Moon, thank you kindly for coming on the podcast against Citizens. I think there's just so much relevance to what Dr. Moon shared and how that could apply in your role, perhaps as a son, as a daughter, as a parent, as a friend, you know, as a teacher, as a mentor. And, you know, as we wrap up this uh this episode podcast, which I mean the 30 minutes has gone by really fast, um, you know, for every successful woman, there is a very supportive husband. And so what does that look like in terms of giving you the strength and energy to carry on and perhaps have those bad days where he picked you up?

SPEAKER_03 28:40

Yeah, I mean, I I always say that the most important decision, at least one of them, that you can make in your life is who your partner is going to be. And I totally lucked out because you've met my husband in person and spent some time with the both of us. And he is just the most wonderfully uh supportive man. He has his own things going on. I mean, he's very successful in his own right, um, which I think makes him comfortable not being insecure about all my achievements, right? Like I don't know what he would be like if he weren't successful, and I was. Hopefully, we never have to find that out. Um, but but he is very supportive. Like when, you know, when I met him, I was a medical student. And so he knew I was gonna be a doctor. Um, but then when I went into reality TV, he was like, wait, what? He was like, There's gonna be a film crew at our house. And then I'm like, I want to write a book. Now I want to host retreats for women all around the world and coach them and elevate other women. Like for every new thing that I have decided to do, he has supported me wholeheartedly because he knows that that's what brings me joy. And like they say, like, happy wife, happy life, right? And um, so he's just he's just the most wonderfully supportive man. I mean, he tries to come to my talks, you know, if they're in town. Um, he goes with me to conferences, my speaking gigs, he's like in the audience, you know, taking pictures, content from me. He's just, he's so cute. He's such a good husband.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Uh a chivalrous gentleman is how I'd like to call it. Well, great, Dr. Moon. And I'll give you the final word on this episode recording. Is there anything that I missed that uh you'd like to share to the audience?

SPEAKER_03 30:34

No, I just want everyone listening to find their joy. I think the world that we live in has so much joy, but we have to look for it and help spread it to other people and focus on the positive.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

Yeah, it's uh and that comes with what's in your closet to give you that confidence in yourself. Uh I said that joy also comes in the confidence know it uh regarding what you wear from your closet. And again, be and that's another different conversation.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

Yeah, we need another whole 30 minutes to talk about the closet, but I don't think confidence comes from what you wear. I think confidence comes from knowing where you stand and that you have the ability to deal with whatever the world throws at you, that you're a kind person, that you know you've dealt with adversity in the past and you will overcome. I think it helps to have a nice pair of shoes and a handbag. Do not get me wrong, but I think true confidence comes from within.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Yeah, that's so true. And it's messaging like this that reminds people of the strength that they have within themselves and to find and seek that support, whether it's through books such as yours, it's through podcasts, um, talks, webinars, seminars. We're all here to, you know, uplift each other so that if I'm good, you're good, and we're all we all win together. Doctor Moon, it was a pleasure having you on the podcast. Thank you for your time.

SPEAKER_03 32:06

Thank you so much.