The Power of Kindness in an Age of Anger and Social Media

When Cyberbullying Should Be A Crime

SPEAKER_03 0:00

One of the biggest things that we're finding is that a huge percentage of kids that are bullied, and especially once you get into high school, where there's less bullying in high school, but but less reporting of it. Being a teacher or administrator at a school right now is a really difficult job because your hands are tied in so many ways just because of laws that have been passed or maybe laws that haven't been passed. You cannot let your child dictate when they get a smart device, a smartphone, a tablet, whatever. And then when they do get one, you must know every single thing that is downloaded on that tablet. If I'm a 50-year-old man and I'm telling an 18-year-old kid who plays from my university, and I've just, you know, bet on this game, and he misses the winning three-pointer, and I'm telling him that he should go kill himself. Well, I should be arrested. I should be charged with a federal crime.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Welcome to the Yoge Nation, the Spirit of Gratitude podcast on the OneTegration platform. Hello, friends. My name is Yogesh Patel, and this podcast explores the themes of bullying, self-awareness, and the power of our inner spirit, including the silent battles we all face. Join me every week as I invite high-profile guests as we explore how adversity shapes us, how gratitude lifts us, and how we can all uncover the inner strength that we all have within ourselves. Join the conversation.

Why “UGLI” Reclaims A Slur

SPEAKER_01 1:20

I appreciate you listening in.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

What if I called someone ugly? And instead of getting offended, they gave me a high five and a smile. My next guest is Angela Garcia, a mother, advocate, and founder of the Ugly Foundation, acronym for unique, gifted, loved, and individual. It's an anti-bullying organization reclaiming a word often used to tear kids down and turning it into a message that helps build them up. In today's conversation, we talk about what inspired Angela to create Ugly, how bullying, anxiety, and social media are shaping the lives of young kids in ways many adults still don't fully understand, and how she teaches her own children about kindness, confidence, and standing up for others. And because Angela's life is also connected to the world of professional sports through her husband, pro golfer, and master's champion, Sergio Garcia, we touch on what it means to live near the spotlight, the assumptions, the criticism, the online noise, and how public figures and their families manage that pressure while still trying to live a grounded, meaningful life. And yes, folks, we also talk about golf and having some fun, how perhaps the power couple had met, the emotions of the Ryder Cup, and what the game has given their family. And with gratitude, welcome to the podcast, Angela.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Thank you so much for having me. And man, that introduction was fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Well, do I get a high five and a smile?

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

Well, thank you. It's an honor to have you on, Angela.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

Thanks. It's an honor to be here. Super excited.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Me too. Me too. So curious, what prompted you to start the foundation? And I love the acronym, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

Thank you. Um, will you explain in the introduction the acronym, uh, what it stands for? It's ugly, spelled U-G-L-I, and it stands for unique, gifted, loved, and individual. And first, the reason that I wanted to start the foundation is because I, as a reporter, um, had the opportunity to speak to a lot of people and I would come across young athletes or these stories of young athletes being in the sports broadcasting world where, you know, they would miss a shot at the end of the game to maybe win the game for their team, or they would, you know, drop the winning touchdown pass. And then these kids were getting relentlessly bullied online by, you know, adults. And we're talking about like high school kids and college kids. And I started realizing our society is just headed down this path that is not healthy. And I really wanted to do something about it. So I decided I was going to start an anti-bullying foundation. And I came up with the name, just thinking of words that, you know, bullies use when you think of something a bully might say. And to me, ugly is a very obvious one. And I wanted to take the word, um, de weaponize it, and turn it into something good. Uh, and, you know, now when I am just walking down the street or whatever, um, out running errands and I wear the ugly foundation hat, it obviously is something that um, you know, no pun intended is very unique. And so people will say, well, oh my gosh, what is that? Ugly? You know, tell me more about it. Um and, you know, it's it's an easy conversation starter seeing that word, seeing the the different spelling. Um, and like I said, I just wanted it to be something that, as you said in the intro, if I could change the meaning of that word completely one day, that would be my goal. Like you call someone ugly and now it's a great thing because it means, you know, all those those words and the acronym and that you're special, which everyone is.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

Of course. Yes,

When Bullying Becomes Lasting Harm

SPEAKER_02 5:00

we all are with our unique gifts and talents. Curious though, I mean, playing devil's advocate with what you just described for a moment, isn't bullying one form of adversity that helps a person turn stress into strength?

SPEAKER_03 5:12

I mean, that that is a a really interesting point. And I've heard several people ask me that question. Um, and I would say for some people, yes. For for me, for example, I'm the kind of person who I'm gonna stand up for myself, I'm gonna stand up for my friends, I'm not gonna take, you know, anything from anybody. But not everyone is built like that. Um and some people are built as, you know, what whatever word you want to call it, introverts, shy, timid, scared. Like, you know, you you take the adjective, and I think for people who are not so confident, um, it's really, really hard. You know, you have someone tearing you down all the time, and you can't overcome that.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Um, and I think one thing Well, what's words, Angela, is that you start to believe in that.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Yeah, exactly. One thing that I think is really important is I was raised with two parents who taught me to be the way that I am, to um stand up for myself, to be outgoing, to take up for others. But not everyone is is raised that way. And whether it's right or wrong, whether it's because the parents just weren't there or the parents grew up a different way or they have a different mentality. So if we can arm students, children, with the right tools to be able to either better stand up for themselves or better stand up for their peers, or to internalize what is said to them in a more positive and productive way and not let that negative word or harmful word or action um affect them the way that that it does, then I think that's when we can help these kids, you know, um get through bullying better.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Right. Is it a specific workshop or is it just the art of explaining the foundation? Because I know you're in in the in uh schools in

How UGLI Clubs Teach Upstanders

SPEAKER_02 7:10

Texas, which is you know commendable. Congratulations. So how does it actually apply into practice?

SPEAKER_03 7:14

Thank you. Um we are we have 57 ugly clubs across the state of Texas right now, and this is only our our second full school year to have been implementing the club. So we're pretty pleased with with the growth. It's congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

That's that's great.

SPEAKER_03 7:31

Um, I mean, obviously, our goal is to be in every single school district and every single school in Texas and then beyond. Hopefully, you know, we can quickly start expanding to California, Florida, New York, some of these bigger states. Um but yeah, so our clubs, we we give the roadmap to these teachers or administrators, whoever is the person running the club, of how they can run the club. And then here are um, you know, these documents, these materials that can help these kids learn these tools uh to better, you know, react to bullying. Or um one of the biggest things that we're finding is that a huge percentage of kids that are bullied, and especially once you get into high school, where there's less bullying in high school, but but less reporting of it. So these kids that are being bullied, they're not telling anyone. And the statistics show that if you do tell someone, and particularly if a peer steps in, half the time the bullying will stop. So we're teaching kids to, we call it be an upstander. And um, you don't want to be a bystander. You don't want to see bullying happen and just stand by because that is not helping anyone. But to be an upstander, stand up for your friend and then go and find a trusted adult and tell that trusted adult what is going on. So find a teacher, a coach, a parent, an uncle, who, whoever, and let them know so the adult can intervene. Um, that that is really helpful. So, so just teaching any kid in your life, like like whether it be a neighbor or a niece or a nephew or your child to stand up for their peers is going to be really effective and helpful for them as they as they grow up. And then, you know, you hope that their peers are doing the same for them.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

Well, uh it also, I'm also thinking that it lessens the shame in a per in a person feeling embarrassed that, oh, I may be ratting on someone or I just want to continue suffering in silence, which kind of odd to say.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

Yeah. And you know, I'm a firm believer that there is a difference between healthy teasing between peers and bullying. Um, you know, when when we were growing up, or I know when I was growing up, yeah, of course, we teased our friends and and we would maybe give them a hard time. But to me, and and I like to use common sense, there's a there's a line between you're teasing someone and they think it's funny too, and then you're bullying someone. And it's pretty clear, you know, when that that teasing turns into bullying, in my opinion. Now I'm sure some people would disagree, and some people might say, any teasing is bullying, or no, you the the line is not clear. And I think when when it's starting to affect someone emotionally, their performance in school is being affected. They don't want to come to school, they don't want to get on the bus, they don't want to go to practice. Well, then clearly it's and this is real, right?

SPEAKER_02 10:25

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's I mean, it's it's it's it's so unfortunate. But again, what you're doing is amazing. Uh again, it's it's it's fanning the flames, right? Of of just having this compassion, kindness, and empathy. At least that's the way that I would understand and how to lessen the severity of bullying. Is there anything else on top of that that the Ugly Foundation supports?

SPEAKER_03 10:52

Well, um, you just what you said made me think of. We got this really cool letter from uh a parent of a fourth grader just talking about like the the positive impact our ugly club had had on that child. And uh the parent talked about how their child didn't want to go to school, they didn't want to go to practice because they felt like um, you know, there were a couple of kids who just hated them. That was the word that the parent used in um in their letter. And this child joined an ugly club and then started learning these tools and learning how to be more confident and um ended up going on a ropes course excursion and one of the kids through through the ugly club, one of the kids that they thought hated them ended up being their partner in the ropes course excursion. They ended up working together, ropes as in ropes as in like yeah, you're exactly like um you know, you're you're climbing and you're doing the like the crappies type thing, and yeah, um like a team building sort of exercise.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

Rod Burns.

SPEAKER_03 11:57

Yeah, and and they ended up working together, and then this child who had been in the ugly club not only, you know, was able to interact with this kid now in a positive, healthy way, but they invited them in like the most ugly club, ugly foundation way, invited them to join the club and come see um, you know, what what it was all about. So they took this kid who was bullying them and they they you know just thought that they absolutely hated him, and then turned it around, invited them to the club and and just completely changed

Teasing Versus Bullying And Silence

SPEAKER_03 12:30

the narrative. And um, I d I mean that's not gonna happen every time. But it was it was pretty cool to hear that that story and to hear from that parent.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Well, I think every individual, even with this kid, right, who was the bullier, right? Not to say change their ways, but it's that power of one. It just takes one person, whether you're the victim or the perpetrator, then to just amplify and spread.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Yeah. That's that's amazing. Is there a separate message um for unique uh to parents, kids, and to teachers in terms of your foundation's work?

SPEAKER_03 13:09

Totally. Um, you know, the kids need to learn one thing and the parents need to learn something completely different. And then I feel like administrators, you know, being a teacher or administrator at a school right now is a really difficult job because your your hands are tied in so many ways, um, just because of laws that have been passed or maybe laws that haven't been passed, um, things that aren't being regulated or things that are being regulated that that really the teachers need more freedom on um to do. But but for the parents, you just need to be aware. Um, you know, we had our first uh ugly foundation compassion and action seminar back in January, and we have our second one um coming up in September. We're gonna move it to September. We had a room packed with people, and we listened to the most incredible speakers. And over and over again, what I heard was you must be present for your child, especially as they become a preteen and a teen. Your child should never be allowed to have a phone until you say it's time or any sort of uh smart, smart device. Okay. That is non-negotiable. You cannot let your child dictate when they get a smart device, a smartphone, a tablet, whatever. And then when they do get one, you must know every single thing that is downloaded on that tablet. You must try it out first, you must see it because there are so many of these apps that their friends will be using and that are so harmful that have are filled with predators and the parent won't even know. Um, and then, you know, every day you need to, when your child comes home from school, you need to ask them, how was your day? Who did you talk to? Who did you interact with on the playground in the lunchroom? You know, and and even if you just get a few words out of them, that child knows that you're interested in their day and that you're interested in who they're talking to and what's being said to them and what they're saying to other people. And your child might be getting bullied, your child might be the bully.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

So and it's vice versa too, Angela, because I think the parents need, you know, uh parents also need to be vested in their kids as well.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

That's the second part of the equation, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_03 15:28

Yeah. No, I mean, if if the parents are not interested in what their child is doing, then your child is is has the free reign to do whatever they want. And you know, they're they're teenagers,

Parents Teachers And Smart Device Rules

SPEAKER_03 15:40

they don't know what they want. They don't know what's best for them. And as much as they would like to think that they do know, they don't.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Right. Yeah, that's that is true. I mean, it looks like a lot of values that the foundation really is, it's about character.

SPEAKER_03 15:59

Yeah, absolutely. I think I mean for me, I'm raising my kiddos alongside my husband to be most importantly kind, productive members of society. I don't need my kids to be rude, unproductive humans who are just, you know, feeding off of our society and not contributing. Um, and I just think it's it's really, again, I go back to common sense. That just seems to me to be common sense. My parents raised me to be kind, that I would be kind to everyone, um, that I would do the right thing, that if I saw something that needed to be done, I would do it before someone asked me to do it. If I, you know, if I'm going to, it's this simple as if I'm going to a door and I see someone coming behind me, I'm going to hold it open for them. And then I'm going to expect them to say thank you for me or to me, and then I'm going to say you're welcome. And it's vice versa. If somebody holds the door open for me, I'm going to say thank you.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

Well, it's not hard to it is this is what you described. It's not hard.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

It's not, it's not. And I always say it's so much easier to wake up and be happy and be kind. It takes so much more effort to wake up angry. And the the effort that it takes to be rude is just exhausting. Um, so I think you're right. If we could just raise our young people to have good character, um, to treat one another with respect and with respect, I think that would fix a lot of the issues that we have. Um, and then I think unfortunately, some of it is out of our hands. And if we don't start to regulate social media and the things that our children are seeing online, I don't think we're gonna see a lot of change. Um, there's never been any legislation passed to regulate social media, and and that is is appalling to me. So federal advice.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

I mean, that's that's lobbying as well. Yeah, but that's that's a whole nother ball of wax there. But yeah, I guess it does start with a practical application of just common sense, courtesy, compassion, and kindness. Yeah, that's you know, and it also extends to adults too, right? I mean, the bullying is as you mentioned, you know, having the cyberbullying take uh place from these young athletes uh when they dropped a pass. I mean, how do you how do you knock some sense into the parents or to others that do have that cyberbullying from adults? Because that's harmful. I would say more harmful because adults should know better than kids.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

Here's here's the thing. First of all, when when I was a kid and when you were a child, we could get away from bullying. Okay, it might happen on the on the playground, it might happen on the school bus, in the lunchroom, but then we went home and we got a break from it. Now our young people, it's 24-7, always with them. They see if they're being excluded because they see the pictures being posted on social media. They they get the harmful messages through social media or WhatsApp or text messages, and they never get away from it. And then we transition into what you just brought up, which is cyberbullying, um, you know, of anonymous uh the anonymity of being behind a keyboard and the and the and how brave it makes you. In my personal opinion, you can't teach dumb people to be smart, right? And somebody who's sitting behind their keyboard talking trash to somebody else that they've never even met is dumb. Okay. In my opinion, they're wasting their time. You don't have anything better to do with your life than then say comments that probably the person that you're speaking to is never even gonna see, just to hopefully get a reaction out of some other random person who's gonna comment on your comment. But I see it happen with my husband, but my husband is a grown man. I'm a grown woman. But if we're talking about the bullying online, the anonymous bullying, or whether you know the person or not of a of a minor, or let's even say, let's make it if you're under 25, that should be illegal. That should be a federal crime. And again, you get into, you know, somebody's gonna have to lobby for that, somebody's gonna have to pass a law. But if I'm a if I'm a 50-year-old man and I'm telling an 18-year-old kid who plays from my university, and I've just, you know, bet on this game and he misses the the winning three-pointer, and I'm telling him that he should go kill himself, well, I should be arrested and I should go, I should be charged with a federal crime. Now, if it's an adult, if it's, you

Adult Trolls Algorithms And Regulation

SPEAKER_03 20:45

know, which happens all the time, if it's my husband who is a professional golfer and has been in the spotlight since he was 15 years old, and and now, you know, he's he's a grown man. And if somebody wants to to bully him online, that's that person's prerogative. My husband is a grown man. I can promise you, he really doesn't care what people are saying about him because he knows he's a great person. He knows he works really hard.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

Um, you know, if if he wasn't that awareness, I think, right? That people need to be reminded of.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

If he wasn't a great person, I wouldn't be married to him. But yeah, we all make mistakes. The thing is, is that every professional athlete, and I'm just speaking of my husband as an example because um, you know, that's what I know, they're all their mistakes are broadcast for everyone to see.

unknown 21:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

So you and I make mistakes on a daily basis, but nobody sees them. I've played golf and I've I've thrown my club or I've done whatever. But you know, if Rory McElroy is playing golf and he throws his club, the whole world's gonna see it. If, you know, Scotty Scheffler's playing golf and he s drops an F bomb, the whole world's gonna see it. If I'm out on the golf course and I say the S H I T word, nobody's gonna hear it. So know it's all that they didn't say it yeah it's again it's again it's just one small example but um the thing is is you get all these people who you know and I I could talk about this for for hours but you get all these people who again they sit on their couch they watch whatever it might be on TV they think they're an expert they get behind their keyboard on their computer their tablet their phone they're super brave and then they're just tearing people down and we live in a society where I mean on Instagram it literally says give your unpopular opinion instead of inviting people to give a positive comment or to to say something that might be uplifting Instagram is literally inviting people to give an unpopular controversial controversial opinion that is most likely going to be offensive. I didn't know that yeah why do we live in a society that that just eats up and loves you know this this cancel culture and this this harmful behavior that um you know somebody makes one mistake and they're they're they're canceled forever it's it's so harmful it's so unhealthy and the fact that people don't recognize this is unbelievable to me.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

I don't know how how more people aren't upset by the way that that you know our our culture or society well hopefully people have the common sense to ignore that right having the smarts and just the practicality of not participating. Yeah right and again I don't know if that takes courage or awareness but you know that's you know I don't know what to say other than that's the world that we live in. Yeah but that being said right there is that humanity that inner spirit that we all have to get a degree of decency back in terms of the way that we project our energy onto others.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

Yeah look I think that I think that the vast majority of people are kind, good people. I think that the problem is is that we live in this world where as I was just saying we are encouraged to behave in a certain way. And it is not encouragement to behave in a positive way. We're being encouraged to to be hurtful to one another and you you know you watch the news and you're being fed a certain kind of news you're being fed certain information based on which website you're visiting, which social media site you're using, you know, you're being targeted. I mean there's all kinds of there's documentaries about how all of these uh social media platforms and and and these other mediums that that you can use, they target you with these algorithm algorithms and they literally make your thinking go the way that they want it to go. I mean it's as it's as easy as you go on Amazon and they're targeting me to buy a certain thing and I click on it and they've literally just decided what I'm gonna buy. And it and it it applies to just your behavior in general. So um I I just I think that that is a big problem is is we're being told how to think and how to behave as adults and we're falling for it. But we can change that. That's the amazing thing. Let's change it. Let's teach our kids to not be like that and and let's you know start moving forward in a more positive way so we can get back to as I said before being productive members of society and and right um you know just doing good things for one another.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

Absolutely I mean to me I've always believed you want to be the best version of yourself. Right. And so you know on that note I mean given the you know uh what your husband has to go through right with uh with the with the bullying cyber bullying as well um it also must affect you or does it not and in light of all things that you are you're a mother you're a daughter right

Living Near Fame Without Social Media

SPEAKER_02 26:05

you're a friend how do you manage the responsibilities of motherhood having you know your husband being a very public figure and to a certain degree you being a public figure as well.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

Well how do you do it of course uh if I see you know people saying negative things about my husband or if I if I read about something yeah that's uh that's obviously not what I want to to see or hear. I will tell you that about four years ago both Sergio and I completely deleted social media off of our devices and we've never ever had it back. So anything that is posted on my social media or Sergio's social media is posted through our social media team and it's Sergio or I telling them what we would like to post or they put together something, they send it to us and then it gets posted to all these people who are wasting their time commenting on social media. We don't even see it. But um but the good comments our team definitely sends to us and and we tell them to respond to people and um you know it's just we realize we're both much happier without social media I function perfectly fine on a daily basis without looking you know at Instagram or TikTok. I don't even know how TikTok works I I like really don't so um so that that has been one one great secret but um you know I know how wonderful Sergio is he is just the funniest nicest guy the thing about you know being a professional athlete and being on TV is you only are seen in one way. So um if the people watching TV see Sergio hit a good shot, they might remember that. They might say oh yeah he hit a good shot that's great. But if they see him get angry and you know break a club they're gonna think about that forever because we love to dwell on on you know the negative and and what people do that that we can talk about and that might be disruptive. So for example back in in April at the Masters um Sergio was super frustrated on a T box broke his club and you know people were talking about that it was not you know great behavior and and yeah of course I mean I agree nobody should if they can help it be breaking their club um in a round but I think if you interviewed every professional golfer they've all broken at least one club or you know done something of that sort in you know in a in a golf tournament and probably every one of them have done it on on live TV at least all the big names um but you know like I said before our mistakes don't get broadcast to the world theirs do. And I I know Sergio was was remorseful for for that behavior but then you have people going back to the sort of these people who just think they can say or do whatever they want. You have people who are just saying the most awful things um you know calling for for certain sanctions to be taken or or whatever. And you know clearly they've never played golf because they don't know how frustrating it is it's it's the hardest sport in the world. And I I can tell you that I've asked dozens of professional athletes who play all kinds of sports what sport they think is the hardest and the vast majority of the ones that I have asked have all said golf. Including my cousin husband my my cousin who is a Super Bowl MVP quarterback. You know, one time I asked him what do you think is the hardest sport and he was like hands down golf. So anyways I mean yeah people say bad things but the great thing is that there are so many fans and they are also loud and say kind things and um you know you see it when you go to a golf tournament and you you watch the fans around Sergio. I mean we were just in Spain last month for the Live golf tournament there and it was just incredible to see the fans rallying around Sergio and and the other Spanish players and you know after the round Sergio's 18th top 10 finish consecutive top 10 finish? Yeah I I don't think it was uh I don't think I don't know if it was consecutive top tens, but I know out of all the times he's played there, he's finished in the top 10 like all but once or twice.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Yeah that's that's an incredible feat.

Golf Pressure How Angela Met Sergio

SPEAKER_03 30:35

And he's won there I think four times. So that golf course is is spectacular. So yeah that's a that's a fun place for us to go.

SPEAKER_02 30:43

How did you guys meet if you don't mind me asking that's a great question.

SPEAKER_03 30:46

So I I was uh working for NBC and golf channel and covering the PGA tour and um Sergio was playing the PGA tour event in Houston and I was covering the PGA tour event in Houston. There were three at the time three PGA tour reporters um for NBC and golf channel and I was one of them and we just met there I interviewed him like you know I do so many other golfers and we just became friends like I was friends with other golfers and then basically a little less than a year later so basically kind of like right after New Year's he asked me out and I kept saying no absolutely not like I don't think so he had the hearts for you and he kept he kept asking me out and I finally was like you know what I'm gonna give this guy a chance and had zero expectations just because you know as a woman you gotta be you got to protect yourself and of course and go in with no expectations and I mean we had our first date and he was so funny so kind and I was like oh dang it you know this guy is actually he's something I'm I'm really enjoying my time with him and here we are we've been married for over nine years and we have two precious little kids and so many incredible memories together and I mean I just am so glad that I finally finally said yes. It's the really cool thing too is that we met in Houston which is the the city where I was born so I just think that's incredible like a guy from Spain and you know a girl who it could have been any tournament any city that we met in the city where I was born I just thought that was kind of meant to be that is so cool.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

Do you find it hard to balance all aspects of motherhood?

SPEAKER_03 32:32

Definitely I think absolutely I mean my biggest thing is I want to be there for my kids and I want to I don't want to miss anything but at the same time I have so many goals of things that I want to accomplish especially with the ugly foundation and and being there for other kids and and showing other children that they are loved, they are unique um that there are people out there who care about them and are there for them through anything whether it be good or bad uh so kind of balancing being being there for for all those different things is tough. And I guess it's a balance between your priorities and the and the sacrifices because there's you know 1,440 minutes during uh during the day on a 24 hour cycle how do you best carve that up I know one one really good piece of advice that I heard actually at the compassion and action seminar that we had was a parent was talking about if you if you are a parent of you know an older child, a teenager and they come to you and they confide in you and it's something that has happened or something that they've done that obviously is going to disappoint you, make sure that your reaction is a supportive reaction. So as much as you may want to immediately say, you know, let's say this kid says you know mom, dad I am they're a 16 year old I, you know had a had a beer last night and so and so's parent caught me or whatever. And you might want to say I can't believe you did that. You're grounded you

Supportive Parenting And Final Gratitude

SPEAKER_03 34:10

know you if you react that way your child is never going to want to confide in you again. Yes there have to be repercussions and there has to be some sort of punishment but that doesn't need to be your initial reaction. You, you know, say, okay, well I really appreciate you coming to me and telling me this this is something that we can work through and you know just kind of work through the problem with them. Yes, there has to be a punishment so they realize it's not something they can keep doing um but but make sure that your reaction is is supportive so they feel like they can always come back to you to talk to you. Well and and I have another way of looking at it too it's not only what the parents teach their kids but what the kids can teach the parents yeah right I mean I'm learning from my kids every day my kids are completely different than me than than I than I was as a child. So um I think God does that on purpose. That would be boring if your child was just like you and you knew exactly what to say or do all the time.

SPEAKER_02 35:09

If I had the personality of the second child on my first I'd stop at one kid.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

I I get that I get that completely Angela this has been an incredible uh episode thank you for sharing everything about the way that you approach life in terms of uh you know being a mother being the supportive uh role of uh of an athlete certainly the amazing work that you're doing at with the ugly foundation is there anything I missed and I'll give you the final word Angela is there anything I missed on this uh in this conversation that you would like to tell the citizens of Yoge Nation who I like to call the listeners I love that no I think um you asked some great questions we talked about so many fun topics and you know and some that are hard and difficult and not so fun but um I think I just would like to to say in the end that like let's be kind to each other let's be thankful for what we have um I am a person of faith and I you know I thank God every day for all the blessings that I have and I want to use all of that to make the world a better place. And I think let's just wake up every morning and remember how blessed we are remember that if you just maybe one smile or one compliment might change a person's complete day um you know and work hard and do the right thing be a good person I think that we'll, you know, be be thankful and and the world will be a better place. So thanks for the time. I really appreciate it and it's been incredible thank you.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

Thank you Angela it's uh it's an honor. Thanks again for coming.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

Thank you.